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Why Christian Nationalists Fear Islam
Christian Nationalism fears Islam not because it is extreme, but because it still works. An essay on unity, mysticism, and the discipline empire can’t…
3 hrs ago
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Mary Magdalene, Christian Nationalism, and the Suppression of Feminine Spiritual Authority
Mary Magdalene wasn’t silenced by accident. This essay explores how Christian Nationalism depends on erasing women’s spiritual authority and why…
Dec 12
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If Jesus Wanted a Theocracy, He Wouldn’t Have Died Opposing One
A comedic roast of the “Christian nation” myth, where Virgin Monk Boy walks you through every empire that tried to put Jesus in charge and immediately…
Dec 9
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When Did Christianity Become a CrossFit Gym for Empire?
Christian Nationalism has turned the Jesus movement into a CrossFit gym for empire — all swords, merch, and cosplay masculinity. This satirical dive…
Dec 5
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The Beatitudes Were Not a Policy Platform
What happens when the Beatitudes meet modern Christian Nationalism? A comedy of theological errors. This satirical take explores how the Sermon on the…
Dec 4
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Christian Nationalism: The Only Theology That Thinks Jesus Needs a Border Wall
Jesus didn’t bless flags or walls. This is a theological takedown of Christian Nationalism, complete with a prayer card for anyone brave enough to hand…
Nov 23
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What a Christian Government Would Actually Feel Like
What if the government Christians keep praying for actually showed up—and started taking their comfort instead of their taxes? A kingdom that feels like…
Nov 1
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MAGA’s Fake Super Bowl Halftime Show: TPUSA’s Garage Band for the Apocalypse
Turning Point USA’s fake halftime show isn’t a culture war flex — it’s a dad-rock karaoke night that proves MAGA can’t compete with Bad Bunny or…
Oct 16
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Funerals, Fake Science, and the Five Stages of Grift
From funerals turned pep rallies to vaccine panels run like conspiracy cosplay, this week America proved grief can be merchandised, medicine can be…
Sep 23
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When the Golden Boy Wobbles: Charlie Kirk and the Right’s Fear of Apostasy
Charlie Kirk wasn’t flipping overnight, but the cracks were there: Epstein files, Gaza’s church bombings, doubts about conservatism’s failures. For a…
Sep 19
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From House Churches to Imperial Thrones
Christianity didn’t begin as an empire. It began in kitchens and courtyards, led by women and the enslaved. Yet by 325, only male bishops of the…
Aug 24
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The Empire’s Bible
This article exposes how the traditional New Testament canon was shaped by empire, why so many early Christian texts were erased, and what it means to…
Aug 1
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