Citizen Vigilante: The Movie for People Who Think Due Process Is Woke
Uwe Boll’s anti-migrant revenge fantasy is not brave cinema. It is fear with a stunt budget.
So apparently Citizen Vigilante is the movie for people who watched Death Wish and thought, “This is good, but what if it had more immigration panic and less shame?”
It is not subtle. This thing looks like it was assembled in a lab by feeding Fox News comments, Great Replacement fever dreams, and a rejected Steven Seagal script into a malfunctioning fax machine. The result is a movie where the hero is not so much a character as he is a comments section with cheekbones.
And of course the fan club is acting like this is brave art. Brave? Please. This is not Dostoevsky staring into the abyss. This is a divorced uncle with wraparound sunglasses yelling “finally someone said it” because a movie told him his worst impulses are actually moral courage. There is nothing courageous about dressing up old xenophobia in action-movie lighting and calling it “what nobody is allowed to say.” Everybody is saying it. Constantly. Loudly. Usually with terrible spelling and a profile picture taken from inside a truck..
The whole trick is painfully obvious: pretend the movie is “just about criminals,” then make sure the criminals are coded as migrants, Muslims, outsiders, foreigners, and “those people.” Then when anyone notices the pattern, clutch the pearls and scream “censorship.” It is the oldest routine in the bigot playbook: light the match, point at the smoke, then demand applause for being a firefighter.
And the supporters? They are not defending cinema. They are defending permission. They want a story where the system is broken, compassion is weakness, immigrants are danger, and the solution is one angry man with a weapon and a social media following. That is not art challenging power. That is power flattering paranoia.
The funniest part is watching people act like Uwe Boll has suddenly become the persecuted prophet of Western civilization. Uwe Boll. The man has spent decades making movies that critics treated like cinematic food poisoning, and now we are supposed to believe his anti-migrant revenge fantasy is the Sermon on the Mount with shell casings. Come on. Jesus said blessed are the peacemakers, not blessed are the guys who confuse vengeance with policy.
This is not a movie about justice. It is a fantasy for people who have mistaken fear for wisdom and punishment for virtue. It gives them the emotional dessert they crave: a world where mercy is naive, due process is betrayal, and violence becomes holy as long as the target has the right accent.
No, thank you.
Virgin Monk Boy does not need vigilante cosplay to understand evil. We already know evil. Evil is what happens when frightened people start calling cruelty “common sense” and revenge “truth.”
May we learn the difference before another terrible movie has to explain our own sickness back to us.
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Is it November yet?
I read that Germany banned it. Maybe I should migrate back to my ancestral homeland 🤔