The Monk Who Tried to Let Go of Everything

How to Marie Kondo Your Ego Until It Cries for Attention

⚠️ Satire Alert

Once upon a time in the Monastery of Overcorrection, there lived a monk so devoted to non-attachment that he tried to unsubscribe from being.

He sold his possessions, deleted his social media, and unfriended everyone—including himself. When he caught his reflection in the water, he politely asked it to move out.

At first, the other monks admired his commitment. Then they realized he was giving up so much that he’d stopped eating, speaking, and eventually, acknowledging the existence of anyone still “clinging” to the physical plane. He called this enlightened invisibility. The abbot called it malnutrition with incense.

He bragged (silently, but loudly) about how free he was from bragging. He wrote a scroll titled “The Art of Not Writing Scrolls”, which quickly became a bestseller among people who claim not to care about bestsellers.

But something strange happened. The less he owned, the more his ego strutted around in minimalist robes whispering, “Look at me not looking at me.”

His detachment became a brand. His void had a logo. His silence had a subscriber count.

He began leading workshops on “The Subtle Art of Disappearing Gracefully,” which sold out immediately. Students paid to be taught that wanting to learn was the problem. One attendee reached full enlightenment by realizing the monk’s PayPal account was still very much attached.

Eventually, even the monk saw the trap: the self can turn humility into theater faster than you can say Namaste for attention.

So he let go again—this time not of his robe, his name, or his lunch—but of the need to win at letting go.

He didn’t tweet about it. He didn’t record a podcast. He just sat under a tree and laughed until the silence joined in.

🌿 Blessed be the one who declutters his soul and then forgets to brag about it.

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