The Book of Hours (But Make It Unhinged and Holy)

A downloadable rhythm of sacred pauses for the spiritually tired, mystically undone, and Magdalene-aligned

This isn't a workbook for the spiritually ambitious.
It's a survival guide for the mystically unhinged.

✨ The Virgin Monk Boy Book of Hours is now live for paid subscribers—a seven-day rhythm of sacred interruptions based on the ancient prayer hours, now updated for the insomniacs, cynics, and side-eye saints of modern life.

No Gregorian chants. No moral homework. Just real prayers for real wreckage:

🌌 Matins – For the haunted and heartburned at 3AM
🌤️ Lauds – For the barely-awake and almost-hopeful
🌅 Prime – For crawling into the day with bedhead and doubts
🔥 Terce / Sext / None – For the unravelings between emails, breakdowns, and reheated leftovers
🌙 Vespers + Compline – For shutting it all down with holy resignation

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🧎‍♀️ What's Inside?

Each hour has:

• A short liturgy—part poem, part prayer

• A meditation that sounds suspiciously like your soul talking back

• Commentary that’s equal parts sacred and unhinged

This is for those who:

• Bless their coffee more than their life choices

• Pray through sarcasm and snack breaks

• Keep showing up with grief, doubt, and mismatched socks

At the center? Mary Magdalene. Not airbrushed. Not erased.
But seen—because she showed up in the dark, balm in hand, with no miracles to offer—just presence.

“You don’t have to be radiant. You just have to be real.” — Prime, Tuesday

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🧨 Why this book exists:

Because some of us are tired of pretending we’re not tired.
Because sanctity looks more like survival than sparkle.
Because someone needed to say: You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

Let these hours hold your unraveling.
Let them say what the church forgot to:
You’re not here to impress. You’re here to unfold.

📬 Curious? Check my Notes feed for glimpses into the prayers.
If they hit you where it hurts (and heals), the full book is waiting.

Stay wild. Stay unfinished.
Bless the hours.
Let them bless you back.

—Virgin Monk Boy
(barefoot cantor of the unscheduled sacred)

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