🕊️Psalm 18: The Rescue That Remade Me

retransmitted by Virgin Monk Boy after clawing out of despair, coughing smoke, and realizing the Holy had been holding the rope the whole time

1
I love you, Holy One—
not because I’m supposed to
but because
I almost died
and you showed up.

2
You weren’t a doctrine
You were shelter
when the storm became personal
You were steady
when the floor gave out

3
I called out, not pretty
not poetic
just loud and messy
and you didn’t flinch.

4
Grief pulled me under
Anxiety choked my ribs
Shame circled like wolves
and I said,
“This is it”

5
But you heard my ragged breath
from wherever Love listens

6
You didn’t float down
You tore through
Smoke. Fire. Thunder.
Creation itself bent
so you could get to me

7
You didn’t rescue me
because I was good
You rescued me
because I was drowning
and you remember
what it’s like to not breathe

8
You lifted me
not into perfection
but into presence
into steady ground
I could feel again

9
You taught me to fight
not people
but despair
and silence
and the voices
that said I was already lost

10
You didn’t make me a warrior
You made me whole

11
Now I walk
with memory in my bones
and the cry of that night
still humming
in the alleluia I now carry

12
So when I say
“You are my strength”
I don’t mean
you fix everything

I mean
you found me
when I forgot
I was worth saving.

— Virgin Monk Boy
(who once thought salvation was about escape
but now knows it’s about presence
and being remade in the fire
not airlifted from it)

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