Attention Is Not Just Personal
This reflection grows out of the same stream as Real Will Isn’t Willpower: Cynthia Bourgeault’s course Practicing Living Presence, Discovering the Mind of Christ Within, read through Kabir Helminski’s Living Presence, with that stubborn little Sufi-Christian insistence that attention is not just a private spiritual trick we perform inside our skulls. Attention is energetic. Presence has weight. Being fully here does not merely change how we feel about a situation. It can change the situation itself. Which sounds a little mystical until you have been in a room where one grounded person walks in and suddenly the emotional furniture stops flying.
Most of us think presence is personal. I am present. I am calm. I am centered. I am having a spiritual moment while everyone else is out here acting like raccoons trapped in a church basement. But the deeper teaching is more unsettling and more beautiful than that. Presence is not a decorative inner mood. It is not the scented candle version of consciousness. It is a field.
And fields affect things.
Every Room Has Weather
We already know this in ordinary life. Walk into a room where everyone is anxious, and your body knows it before your mind starts taking notes. The shoulders tighten. The breath rises. The room has a weather system. No one has to announce, “Welcome to today’s group panic spiral.” You just feel the psychic humidity and begin sweating through your soul.
The same thing happens in reverse. Someone deeply present enters, and the room begins to remember itself. Not because they dominate it. Not because they perform holiness. Not because they start using that calm therapist voice that makes you want to commit light vandalism. Something in them is simply not scattered. Their attention is gathered. Their being is not leaking into every passing irritation, preference, fear, and performance cue. They are here.
And here is contagious.
Presence Is Not Control
That is the hidden power in this teaching on voluntary attention. Attention is not merely the ability to stare really hard at one object like a monk trying to win a staring contest with a carrot. Attention, when joined to surrender, becomes a way of being available to reality without being eaten by it. You can be aware of what is happening outside you and aware of the one inside you who is seeing. You can hold both the river and the ships passing over it. That is the beginning of freedom.
It is also the beginning of a different kind of power.
Not power over people. God save us from one more spiritual person who discovers “energy” and immediately becomes a tiny cult leader with essential oils and boundary issues. This is not domination. This is not psychic control. This is not walking into Thanksgiving dinner and silently commanding Uncle Gary to stop explaining economics he learned from a meme. Though honestly, we understand the temptation.
This power is quieter than that. It is the power of non-reactive being. The power of not joining the room’s unconscious agreement to become frantic. The power of not feeding the fire just because everyone else is tossing in furniture and calling it authenticity.
The Airport Becomes a Chapel
One of the examples from the teaching is almost absurdly ordinary. A person is sitting in an airport, waiting for a flight. A pilot is on the phone. A couple of men are nearby. Nothing dramatic is happening. No choir descends from the ceiling. No stained glass appears in Terminal B. But suddenly there is stillness. A felt sense of connection. The person sitting there experiences that the stillness is not merely inside them. It is between them. It is being sustained in the room, or the waiting area, or whatever sacred architectural wonder airport designers created after apparently losing a bet with fluorescent lighting.
That is presence changing the room.
And notice where it happens. Not in a monastery. Not during an ordination. Not at the perfect retreat center where everyone is wearing linen and pretending they don’t judge the coffee. It happens in an airport. The modern temple of delay, irritation, boarding group hierarchy, and overpriced sandwiches. If presence can happen there, it can happen anywhere.
Sacred Space Is Made by Being
This matters because most people are still carrying around a childish idea of sacred space. We think sacred space is something already prepared for us. A chapel. A shrine. A retreat center. A candlelit room. A place with cushions and a person named River who tells you where to put your shoes. And yes, spaces can be prepared. Beauty helps. Silence helps. Ritual helps. But sacred space is not finally created by objects. It is created by quality of being.
The room becomes sacred when someone is actually there.
The Toilet Brush as Spiritual Director
This is why the priest cleaning toilets matters so much.
In the teaching, there is an example of an Anglican priest cleaning toilets at Glen Airley and coming out radiant. Not because toilets are glamorous. Let us not spiritually gaslight the plumbing. Cleaning toilets is cleaning toilets. It is not secretly a luxury spa treatment for the soul. But she discovered something that most of us miss because we are too busy dragging our precious identity behind us like a designer suitcase full of grievances. She realized this task did not demean her priesthood. It gave her a place to put her attention completely in the present.
That is the whole sermon right there.
The ego says, “This is beneath me.” Presence says, “This is what is here.”
The ego says, “I should be doing something more important.” Presence says, “Importance is often just vanity wearing a nicer jacket.”
The ego says, “I am a priest, a teacher, a writer, a professional, a person with a LinkedIn profile and carefully curated suffering.” Presence says, “Yes, beloved, and the toilet is still dirty.”
There is something wonderfully humiliating about real spiritual practice. It keeps refusing to respect the hierarchy our ego built to protect itself. We want our transformation to happen through meaningful conversations, powerful visions, perfect liturgy, deep books, and maybe a dramatic tear rolling down one cheek while Rumi is quoted responsibly for once. But then the path hands us a toilet brush.
Not as punishment. As mercy.
Because the toilet brush reveals the truth. Can you be here when no one is impressed? Can you give yourself fully to the task that does not flatter your identity? Can you bring attention to the thing your personality would rather outsource to someone less spiritually significant?
This is where sacred space begins. Not with incense. With undivided attention.
One Present Person Gives the Room Another Option
And this is also where group dynamics begin to shift. A group is not just a collection of opinions. A group is an energetic system. If one person is frantic, that franticness recruits others. If one person is offended, the room starts looking for teams. If one person is performing intelligence, suddenly half the room is tightening its vocabulary and pretending to understand words it plans to Google later.
But if one person is present, genuinely present, not frozen, not detached in that dead-eyed “I have transcended you peasants” way, but alive, spacious, awake, something else becomes possible. The room has another option.
This is why sustained attention matters. A flash of presence is beautiful, but sustained attention becomes shelter. It gives the group a center of gravity that is not built from fear. It allows people to stop being yanked around by every like and dislike, every emotional gust, every little ego mosquito whining, “What about me? What about me? What about me?”
Stop Donating Your Unconsciousness to the Room
Presence does not erase conflict. It does not turn difficult people into forest animals who gather peacefully around your aura. Some people will remain committed to being difficult with the devotion of medieval monks copying manuscripts. But presence changes your participation in the conflict. You stop donating your unconsciousness to the group account.
That alone matters.
Scattered Attention Drains the Soul
The teaching makes a strong claim: when our attention is dissipated, part of us is already in the past or future, and that drains us. Anyone who has survived a day of meetings knows this in the bones. You are in one conversation while rehearsing the next one, resenting the previous one, silently editing the email you should have sent, and wondering whether the person across from you has always chewed that loudly or whether God is testing your commitment to compassion.
By the end of the day, you are exhausted, not because you did so much, but because you were divided through all of it.
Presence gathers the scattered pieces.
Presence Makes Action Cleaner
This does not mean you become slow, precious, or useless. Presence is not spiritual molasses. It is not whispering while the building burns. In fact, real presence often makes action cleaner and quicker because you are not dragging your entire psychological junk drawer into the moment. You see more. You react less. You respond from a deeper place.
A present person can act firmly without adding violence to the atmosphere. A present person can speak truth without needing the ego dessert of superiority. A present person can clean the toilet, sit in the airport, lead the meeting, hold the grief, walk into the tense room, and quietly refuse to feed the collective possession.
This is sacred work.
Not flashy. Not marketable. Hard to put on a conference banner. “Come learn how to stand still inside yourself while everyone else emotionally cannonballs into the kiddie pool.” Probably not selling out the arena. But it might save your soul. And on a good day, it might save the room.
The hidden power of being fully here is that reality recognizes itself through us. When we are scattered, the world becomes more scattered through us. When we are reactive, the world becomes more reactive through us. When we are present, even briefly, even clumsily, even while holding a toilet brush or waiting for a delayed flight next to a man loudly explaining speakerphone technology to the entire airport, something else enters the field.
A little more space.
A little more mercy.
A little more room for God to breathe.
The Practice Is Not to Make the Room Worse
And maybe that is enough for one day’s practice. Not to become impressive. Not to radiate saintly vibes like a spiritual space heater. Just to enter one ordinary room today and not make it worse. To bring one gathered breath. One unscattered glance. One moment of attention that is not for sale to every passing irritation.
May we become the kind of people whose presence gives the room permission to remember its own soul.
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Living Presence: A Sufi Way to Mindfulness & the Essential Self by Kabir Helminski
I feel this truth so deeply.
I honestly can’t remember ever reading something that I feel like I’ve read before, that you’ve written before, that someone else has written before, that was like being in a dark room & no - someone didn’t flip the light switch on & blind me with the truth but rather put their hand on the dimmer switch & turned it up so slowly, so gently, so gradually that i didn’t even realize the light was on. And at the same time I can’t count the times i laffed out loud, raucously, truthfully, joyously - “presence is not spiritual molasses”. I’ll stop with that, no spoilers fair or needed, just one of those rare moments where you know better (maybe) but can’t help feeling like, “this was written just for me & orchestrated perfectly for me to read at this particular time today to change my life…..”
And also laff your ass off at the same time. At the hysterical truths that are splattered all over the place. Feeling sacrilegious while doing so but that’s screaming from the past. That takes an outer limits writing skill to blend what seems like two very different things into one.
How do they rate things - 5 star review? 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (🤣 😂😅🤣😂 couldn’t help it)