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Wendy Parker's avatar

I had to lose a lot before this took hold in my mind. Anything you must constantly chase is unsustainable. I had to run from my grief and chase 'acting happy' for a long time before I broke down and sat with it long enough to understand it would never be outrun. It must be invited along, like the dumb little brother momma made me take with me to the ball games on Friday night so he could tell on me if I cussed or smoked. The grief will always tell on you. So you take it to the game and sit with it and you might not get to cuss or smoke but you're there and you don't miss the whole game.

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Cindy DeJulio's avatar

I cannot find Cynthia Bourgeault’s Practicing Living Presence: Discovering the Mind of Christ Within.

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Kaja Sommer's avatar

Thank you, you’re teaching us “how to stand in the rain without losing our center.” 🙏 I’m beginning to know “the peace of being aligned with what’s true” & “trading bliss for honesty.”🔥

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

That’s it exactly. Joy that doesn’t need to hide from the storm. The rain was never the problem; it’s the pretending we’re dry that hurts.

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Jenny Lomas's avatar

I love this, you describe not only where I'm at, but also why I some times wonder 'shouldn't I be more joyful at this point' ?!?! So many bumper stickers in your essay, and I'm a collector of quotes as they take residence in my mind as helpful divine reminders. Thank you!

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Rev. Dr. Beth Krajewski's avatar

Bingo! This one goes straight to the center of the target! Wholeness gives us so much more grace and room to stretch, grow, and just be. Bless you, VMB!

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Celia Abbott's avatar

Yes! Another paradox that in surrendering - getting aligned - things can start fitting together no matter what is going on. Wholeness seems more helpful than happiness would be. To feel whole - not scattered in pieces and tugged in different directions, is actually a relief.

It strikes me that understanding many of Jesus' teachings now, differently, makes so much sense. Wouldn't it be amazing if people could learn this much earlier in life. What a different world we would have.

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Stu McGregor's avatar

In principle, as a direction to head towards, wholeness seems excellent. But like all words like perfection, love, or ‘filled with the spirit’, they’re somewhat meaningless because they’re unattainable (especially if you die before getting there). Also I’m not sure if the concept of wholeness is universal, or if it’s equitably attainable. How does this apply to the addict, mentally unwell who end up managing their afflictions — it’s a diminished wholeness in some ways. Dunno, wholeness just raises questions for me.

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Wholeness isn’t a destination for the polished. It’s the practice of staying intact while cracked.

The addict, the grieving, the half-awake. They’re not excluded from it. They are it. Wholeness isn’t perfection. It’s integration. The parts you wish you could amputate are often the ones carrying the medicine.

You don’t arrive at wholeness. You keep collapsing into it.

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Stu McGregor's avatar

Will mull this. Thank you.

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