What happens when the Beatitudes meet modern Christian Nationalism? A comedy of theological errors. This satirical take explores how the Sermon on the Mount gets treated like optional DLC by today’s comment-section prophets.
FB gospel is just a recent edition of the White Xian Nationalist playbook. White evangelicals made an unholy marriage with the GOP, for $$, power and supremacy, after women and black people were acknowledged to be human and deserving of rights. It's been in play for decades in various forms. I've been watching since Reagan won in 1980, and the various revisions concocted since. The new media landscape [FB, X, etc] with their algorithms, has simply amplified their hellscape. Now, Jesus teachings are too woke for them. Sadly, fear and hatred sell better than love, and many believe they will get a spiritual bypass.
Yep! Can't tell you how many discussions I had with people over the years about the majority of the founding fathers being deists. Then trying to explain how that can get hijacked into patriarchy.
I think a lot of this comes from fear and lack of education or even interest in anything they did not get off Facebook or make up.
Doesn't help that nobody knows what a "deist" is. And it doesn't matter how many quotes and writings (especially of Jefferson's) that specifically refute the idea that they were Christian. At my advanced age, I figure I only have so many breaths left to me, and I'm just not sure I want to expend any more of them in that effort.
This is the sharpest, most spiritually grounded satire I’ve ever read. You hold humor, theology, and truth in perfect tension — naming distortions without losing compassion, critiquing without dehumanizing. It’s rare to see someone cut this cleanly and still land in tenderness. Truly extraordinary work.
These white-robed Klan cosplay warriors gripping Bibles like steering wheels—tight, clueless, and mostly decorative. The religious have always been an easy target because superstition is a hell of a drug. Most of them haven’t read the Bible unless it was cross-stitched on grandma’s wall. After waiting 2,000 years for Jesus, they’ll take anyone who gives them goosebumps, even if it’s just rage. There’s an old saying: make them laugh, make them cry, or make them mad. And since racism’s already a family heirloom, guess which one they picked?
The hypocrisy of the Christian Nationalists needs to be called out as loudly as their undeserving title of being "pro-life." They neither exemplify the tenets of the Beatitudes nor care about anything other than babies being born to turn women into a production factory for their ill-run Christian-centric adoption agencies. While I'm still not a Russell Moore fan (and don't even get me started on Andy Stanley!), what Moore said about pastors telling him that they now have church members telling them to stop preaching on the Beatitudes because "they don't work anymore" for their brand of Christianity. That is where we are, America. And how I laughed at their "refuse to drink water," but it's true. The Venn diagram of Christian nationalists who scream "the Bible says it so I believe it" and the Christian Nationalists who "well that's not what Jesus meant" if it conflicts with their bigotry is a full circle, and it needs to be shattered. If shattering it is impossible, and I think it is because it is generational in this country, then at least disempower it and never ever compromise with it again, like we did with the Civil war and allowed white southerners, who brutally fought to protect what they said was their "god-given right" to enslave Black people, to walk away with power and dignity that they did not deserve. Brother, you hit a nerve with this one, and it needed light today. Thank you.
Brother V, this is a good lesson about the Beatitudes, while you’re making fun of the people who ignore them! Those MAGA monkeys don’t read the Bible; they just make up their own rules & say that Jesus said it.
This is great! As Pope Francis said, Jesus’ concern for the poor is absolutely clear in the Gospel. We’re supposed to follow Jesus, not some crazy social Darwinist preacher or other.
FB gospel is just a recent edition of the White Xian Nationalist playbook. White evangelicals made an unholy marriage with the GOP, for $$, power and supremacy, after women and black people were acknowledged to be human and deserving of rights. It's been in play for decades in various forms. I've been watching since Reagan won in 1980, and the various revisions concocted since. The new media landscape [FB, X, etc] with their algorithms, has simply amplified their hellscape. Now, Jesus teachings are too woke for them. Sadly, fear and hatred sell better than love, and many believe they will get a spiritual bypass.
Yep! Can't tell you how many discussions I had with people over the years about the majority of the founding fathers being deists. Then trying to explain how that can get hijacked into patriarchy.
I think a lot of this comes from fear and lack of education or even interest in anything they did not get off Facebook or make up.
Lord have mercy...
Doesn't help that nobody knows what a "deist" is. And it doesn't matter how many quotes and writings (especially of Jefferson's) that specifically refute the idea that they were Christian. At my advanced age, I figure I only have so many breaths left to me, and I'm just not sure I want to expend any more of them in that effort.
True. I am old too and don't engage. It is just exceedingly sad.
This is the sharpest, most spiritually grounded satire I’ve ever read. You hold humor, theology, and truth in perfect tension — naming distortions without losing compassion, critiquing without dehumanizing. It’s rare to see someone cut this cleanly and still land in tenderness. Truly extraordinary work.
Yes yes yes
"But humility doesn’t sell.
Rage does.
And outrage pays out like a casino slot machine chiming in Old Testament."
^^This.
So much this. But it doesn't pay the outraged, it pays the outrager(s). If only I didn't have so much of it to spend.
These white-robed Klan cosplay warriors gripping Bibles like steering wheels—tight, clueless, and mostly decorative. The religious have always been an easy target because superstition is a hell of a drug. Most of them haven’t read the Bible unless it was cross-stitched on grandma’s wall. After waiting 2,000 years for Jesus, they’ll take anyone who gives them goosebumps, even if it’s just rage. There’s an old saying: make them laugh, make them cry, or make them mad. And since racism’s already a family heirloom, guess which one they picked?
This is a wonderful article that shines light into the darkness of Christian Nationalism.
The hypocrisy of the Christian Nationalists needs to be called out as loudly as their undeserving title of being "pro-life." They neither exemplify the tenets of the Beatitudes nor care about anything other than babies being born to turn women into a production factory for their ill-run Christian-centric adoption agencies. While I'm still not a Russell Moore fan (and don't even get me started on Andy Stanley!), what Moore said about pastors telling him that they now have church members telling them to stop preaching on the Beatitudes because "they don't work anymore" for their brand of Christianity. That is where we are, America. And how I laughed at their "refuse to drink water," but it's true. The Venn diagram of Christian nationalists who scream "the Bible says it so I believe it" and the Christian Nationalists who "well that's not what Jesus meant" if it conflicts with their bigotry is a full circle, and it needs to be shattered. If shattering it is impossible, and I think it is because it is generational in this country, then at least disempower it and never ever compromise with it again, like we did with the Civil war and allowed white southerners, who brutally fought to protect what they said was their "god-given right" to enslave Black people, to walk away with power and dignity that they did not deserve. Brother, you hit a nerve with this one, and it needed light today. Thank you.
Brother V, this is a good lesson about the Beatitudes, while you’re making fun of the people who ignore them! Those MAGA monkeys don’t read the Bible; they just make up their own rules & say that Jesus said it.
This is great! As Pope Francis said, Jesus’ concern for the poor is absolutely clear in the Gospel. We’re supposed to follow Jesus, not some crazy social Darwinist preacher or other.
❣️❣️❣️❣️👊🏽🤲🏽🤟🏽