💧 Psalm 6: I Am Worn Thin With Groaning

(retransmitted by Virgin Monk Boy after crying into his tea and realizing the cup was still full)

1
Do not scold me, O Presence
Not in the heat of shame
Not in the voice I inherited from people who did not know how to love

2
Have mercy
Not because I earned it
But because I am tired

My bones feel like paper
My breath is shallow
My heart is a room with no windows

3
How long must I keep pretending I am fine?
How long before the ache turns into release?

4
Turn toward me
Not because I got the words right
But because I am yours

Save me
Not from punishment
But from numbness

Let me feel again
even if it breaks me

5
What good is silence in the grave?
Who can remember you if they no longer remember themselves?

Let me praise you
not with songs
but with sighs that finally land in your lap

6
I am worn thin with groaning
My bed swims in grief
I soak the night with tears no one sees

My eyes blur with sorrow
I have forgotten how to hope
and I am still here

7
Let every false voice depart from me
Let the inner accusers lose their grip
They do not speak for Love

8
You have heard my cry
not as noise
but as music

You receive my weeping
not as weakness
but as worship

9
Let every voice that mocked my longing
be hushed by the sound of my healing

10
Let those who wished for my collapse
watch as I rise
not with revenge
but with resurrection

—Virgin Monk Boy
(who cried so long he forgot what he was crying for
and then noticed God had been crying with him the whole time)