Ever wonder what happens when Jesus trades his sandals for steel-toe boots and a MAGA hat? Spoiler: he stops turning the other cheek and starts building a border wall. Virgin Monk Boy exposes the blasphemous hilarity of America’s favorite flag-wrapped savior in MAGA Jesus Says™: The Gospel According to Grievance.
Haha, oh VMB, you do give me a much needed smile or even chuckle. Thank you for bringing the words of Jesus to us, to stand side by side with the degenerate versions. True story: in high school, this girl claimed that it was from the Bible, to do unto others before they do unto you.
I’ll keep my eyes and ears open for quotes. What’s coming to me right now is all of the kingdom of heaven metaphors—It’s like a pearl of great price, a treasure in a field. Worth more than anything material. MAGA Jesus is saying “Drill baby drill” but not for the kingdom of heaven. Just going for something to monetize. I love this parody line you’ve created.
That's the holiest kind of mischief, Reverend! That prayer wasn’t meant to sit quietly in a journal. It was made to ring out like a rebellious bell in the sanctuary, shaking the pews and raising eyebrows in the name of holy justice. Thank you for putting it to work where it counts. May it keep haunting the halls of power and baptizing the bold.
I can also speak from this because I am Coco Brown, skin tone color. . With reddish brown hair and streaks of blonde, which is natural for me. . On the other hand, my sisters are very light complexed. . But that comes from our ancestry.. . They talk of love in friendship and how they want family and Harmony., PEACE. But when things don’t go their way, they’re the first ones to start the verbal gossip/attacks and then it gets physical. .
So I moved far away from them . . Sometimes you just have to move away from Family in order for you to have peace. . Just like HAD before.. .
Yes, the Magatudes—where greed is a virtue, empathy is weakness, and Christ is just a mascot for white grievance. It's like they rewrote the Sermon on the Mount with a stock portfolio and a fear of diversity.
“Blessed are the belligerent, for they shall inherit a podcast.”
Thanks, Paul. That one’s going in the sacred scroll of unholy translations.
We aren’t fighting against flesh and blood enemies but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world and against mighty powers in this dark world and against evil spirits in the Heavenly places.
Those who follow the instructions of Jesus Christ recognize their shepherd and ignore the thieves as Jesus Christ talked about in John 10 - those are the chosen who will find green pasture on the other side of the gate.
Real Jesus says, “Get thee behind me, MAGA Jesus!”
Love it! 😂
Haha, oh VMB, you do give me a much needed smile or even chuckle. Thank you for bringing the words of Jesus to us, to stand side by side with the degenerate versions. True story: in high school, this girl claimed that it was from the Bible, to do unto others before they do unto you.
I’ll keep my eyes and ears open for quotes. What’s coming to me right now is all of the kingdom of heaven metaphors—It’s like a pearl of great price, a treasure in a field. Worth more than anything material. MAGA Jesus is saying “Drill baby drill” but not for the kingdom of heaven. Just going for something to monetize. I love this parody line you’ve created.
I used your awesome prayer against Christian Nationalism in my sermon on June 22. And I have hung it up at church! JUST SAYIN!
That's the holiest kind of mischief, Reverend! That prayer wasn’t meant to sit quietly in a journal. It was made to ring out like a rebellious bell in the sanctuary, shaking the pews and raising eyebrows in the name of holy justice. Thank you for putting it to work where it counts. May it keep haunting the halls of power and baptizing the bold.
Just confronted one. . I’m sure I’ll be hearing more from the Christian nationalist. !
No foul language used, rational that they can’t understand . . Their God is.$$$
I can also speak from this because I am Coco Brown, skin tone color. . With reddish brown hair and streaks of blonde, which is natural for me. . On the other hand, my sisters are very light complexed. . But that comes from our ancestry.. . They talk of love in friendship and how they want family and Harmony., PEACE. But when things don’t go their way, they’re the first ones to start the verbal gossip/attacks and then it gets physical. .
So I moved far away from them . . Sometimes you just have to move away from Family in order for you to have peace. . Just like HAD before.. .
Bang on! “Be still and know that I am God”: “Be Still and know you are God”. MAGA Jesus
You can call them the Magatudes instead of the Beatitudes. “Cursed are the poor for they are nothing and deserve nothing.”
Yes, the Magatudes—where greed is a virtue, empathy is weakness, and Christ is just a mascot for white grievance. It's like they rewrote the Sermon on the Mount with a stock portfolio and a fear of diversity.
“Blessed are the belligerent, for they shall inherit a podcast.”
Thanks, Paul. That one’s going in the sacred scroll of unholy translations.
Though I am new to theological satire, but even I think this is most brutally necessary..
And maybe some exorcism is need of the time too...
Thank you 🙏
We we told God places those in authority over us. Apparently only when the correct candidate gets elected.
We aren’t fighting against flesh and blood enemies but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world and against mighty powers in this dark world and against evil spirits in the Heavenly places.
Those who follow the instructions of Jesus Christ recognize their shepherd and ignore the thieves as Jesus Christ talked about in John 10 - those are the chosen who will find green pasture on the other side of the gate.
Ephesians 6:12
Sounds like something I would have heard in catholic school almost 60 years ago… good grief I’m getting old
This. Is. Gold.
I needed me some MAGA Jesus tomfoolery tonight and you delivered!!
We really have to laugh a little more because they’ve got all the guns and we’ve got all the weed.
5x7 memes! HALLELUJAH!!!!
❤️🔥🌟🎊🥳🎉🌈🎆🎇 Praise be to VMB!
Thank you for being you.
Where's a Samaritan when we need one?
Fuck maga jesus and Amerikkka and isreal
I could not love this more.
Excellent!