📚Canonized Saints – Order of Virgin Monk Boy

Compiled under the Sacred Supervision of Virgin Monk Boy, Keeper of the Eternal Roast

🌈✨ SAINTS OF THE HOLY ORDER ✨🌈

(Click on Image For Prayer)

🙏 Click image to recite their gloriously misguided prayer.

1. St. Kevin of the Rainbow Rebuke
🕯️ Patron Saint of Fabricated Facebook Facts, Mustache Miracles, and Accidental Pride Icons
🔹 Notable Miracles:
– Memes without sources that still summon arguments
– Rainbow hair via divine satire
– Became an icon without consent

📜 Bestowed Titles:
– The Blessed Curmudgeon of Caps Lock
– Defender of the Comment Section
– Saint of “I Did My Own Research”

---

🙏 Click image to recite their gloriously misguided prayer

2. St. Terry of the Passive-Aggressive Prayer Chain
🕯️ Patron Saint of Weaponized Scripture, Crockpot Evangelism, and “Thoughts & Prayers (But Mostly Judgments)”
🔹 Notable Miracles:
– Telepathic side-eyes
– Converted a gossip thread into a “prayer circle”
– Reprimanded three generations using only Proverbs

📜 Bestowed Titles:
– Our Lady of Subtle Shade
– First Nun of the Fellowship Hall Finger Wag
– Divine Dispatcher of Chain Emails and Passive Notes

---

🙏 Click image to recite their gloriously misguided prayer.

3. St. Keith of the Infinite Inconvenience
🕯️ Patron Saint of Poor Wi-Fi, Unreturned Calls, and That One Sock You Always Lose
🔹 Notable Miracles:
– Caused three printers to jam simply by entering the room
– Missed every important Zoom call by 47 seconds
– Was once almost helpful, but fate intervened

📜 Bestowed Titles:
– Seraphim of Spilled Coffee
– Duke of Double-Booked Calendars
– Lord of “Sorry, Just Saw This Text”

---

Click image to recite their gloriously misguided prayer.

4. St. Greg of the Unshaken Certainty📘

   Patron Saint of Misquoted Philosophers, Internet Debates, and Wisdom Without Context

   🔹 Notable Miracles:
   – Refuted an entire doctoral thesis using a meme and no punctuation
   – Survived 17 Facebook bans with only a VPN and sheer willpower
   – Converted a yoga thread into a lecture on Roman economics

   📜 Bestowed Titles:
   – Oracle of Overexplaining
   – Grandmaster of the Tangent Scroll
   – Defender of the One True Context (his)

   🌀 May your arguments be short and your citations un-Googled in his holy presence.

   ---

Click image to recite their gloriously misguided prayer

5. St. Brian of the Radiant Beard
🕯️ Patron Saint of Silent Sass, Rainbow Beards, and Unbothered Enlightenment

🔹 Notable Miracles:
– Grew a perfect Pride beard in 12 hours during Mercury retrograde
– Endured 87 political posts without commenting once
– Silently converted a room full of loud wrongness using only his eyes

📜 Bestowed Titles:
– The Serene Sentinel of Side-Eye
– Archbishop of Aesthetic Stillness
– Keeper of the Sacred "Mmm-hmm"