42 Comments
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Wendy Parker's avatar

Oh. My. Lort. I laughed so hard at this I think I healed my own mother wound. This is what satire looks like when it's done exquisitely and with a sprinkle of divine wisdom. So freaking good.

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Glad it cracked you open, Wendy. Laughter is the scalpel the soul actually consents to. If a joke can stitch the mother wound even for a breath, then satire’s doing holier work than half the pulpits.

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Sharon Maxey's avatar

I could (verily) see it all! As well as smell the sweat and cigar smoke. A satirically good yarn did you spin, VMB!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Sharon, if you caught the sweat and cigar smoke, then the vision is working. Satire’s just incense for the unholy. Glad the yarn tangled you up.

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Shirley Peck's avatar

Learned a new word “kayfabe”. Seems to me that kayfabe is the mental state of Americans right now? Kinda suspended? I’ll have to study on that. Thanks for the fun, VMB!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Shirley, you nailed it. America runs on kayfabe. The whole culture is a scripted feud where both sides pretend the stakes are eternal while the promoters count ticket sales. Suspend disbelief long enough and you forget it’s all theater.

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Angela's avatar

Same, Shirley! I love getting spiritual edutainment when I read VMB

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Angela, glad the edutainment lands. If the clowns and prophets can share the same ring, maybe wisdom sneaks in through the folding chair.

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julie elder's avatar

I love your brain. Lol

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Julie, my brain is just a monastery with broken windows. The wind does most of the thinking. Glad you enjoy the draft.

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julie elder's avatar

Lovin’ the draft. Lol

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Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

Uniquely spectacular!!!!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

“Stephanie, uniquely spectacular is just another way of saying the monastery walls didn’t hold. Glad the chaos made it to your ears.

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A HEART FOR JUSTICE's avatar

🤣

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Tara Gelhaus's avatar

Best. One. Yet. 😂😂😂😂😂

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Tara, if this was the best one yet then the next one has to get me excommunicated. Stay tuned.

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Mickey8255's avatar

lolol 😂😂😂 this is SO Funny! My mother is healed lolol 😂😂. You’re so good at this Monk Boy! I always look forward to reading/hysterical/writings from you! Keep it coming—no question we all need this!!! 💙👊💪💪👍👏👏👏👋

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Mickey, if satire healed your mom then I’m gonna start charging co-pays. Glad the holy foolishness lands where it needs to. More mischief on the way.

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Mickey8255's avatar

Awesome-keep it coming, I love it!!! Great wit-Great writing my friend!!! 💙😁👊👏👏

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Tim Miller's avatar

Fun!

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Sharon Lukach's avatar

Why do I get the feeling that this was your dream last night?

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Because sometimes the scrolls read like prophecy and sometimes they read like fever dreams scribbled on a napkin. Truth and dream are cousins. Both sneak past the guards of logic to say what your daylight mind refuses to admit.

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Shirley Peck's avatar

Say, VMB, the other night you mentioned three books from Amazon. Could you please list those again for me? Thanks.

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Shirley Peck's avatar

Thank you!

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Shirley Peck's avatar

I think that one book was authored by the lady that you quote quite a bit.

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Cynthia Bourgeault or Meggan Watterson. Highly recommend anything by both authors

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Can you remind me of the conversation

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Madeleine Ann Eames's avatar

ooh that’s good. Keep it coming!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Madeleine, thank you. Glad the Scrolls are landing. More heresy and holy mischief on the way.

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Mary Pat Kuppig's avatar

Not all Buddhists seek to eliminate all desires! I’ve been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for forty years now as a “Recovering Catholic.” Investigate the concept of “earthly desires lead to enlightenment.” It’s a common sense but highly reflective concept!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Mary Pat, yes. The caricature of Buddhism as desire-annihilation is about as flat as the Church’s caricature of Magdalene. Nichiren’s teaching flips the script: the very cravings, griefs, and longings we drag through the mud can be the seeds of awakening. Earthly desires don’t have to be amputated. They can be composted into enlightenment. That’s a gospel Magdalene would have nodded at.

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Julia Fogg's avatar

Hallelujah!!

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M-Pathy77's avatar

I felt like I was there! Good stuff!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Then the satire did its job. If you felt like you were there, welcome to the madhouse where holy fools and wandering sages wrestle for the last cup of wine.

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Still Waters by Bridget Claire's avatar

This is as fucked up as something I would write. Btw - what’s the deal with you and M Magdelene? I know she’s the Holy Grail according to Dan Brown (and it’s kind of an open secret in the canonical gospels - imho - which is shit) Why does is she the gorgeous centerpiece on the table at your office Christmas party?

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Bridget, Dan Brown made her a plot twist. The bishops made her a prostitute. Both were cover stories. Magdalene was the one who saw him first, understood him best, and carried the wisdom the empire couldn’t canonize without crumbling. She’s not my office party centerpiece. She’s the feast itself. If Christ is the wine, Magdalene is the cup that knew how to hold it.

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Still Waters by Bridget Claire's avatar

Christ is the bread as his body was broken and he’s also the wine as his blood was shed. He claims divinity.

She’s human.

An unholy chalice.

Yet he chooses to drink from her cup.

❤️

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Bridget, Magdalene isn’t some vessel Christ happened to drink from. She carries the Anthropos, the undivided human the Gospels of Mary and Thomas point to. Empire tried to make her a side dish. In truth, she’s the table, the feast, and the witness that makes resurrection more than rumor. Call her unholy if you want, but that’s the lie the bishops sold to keep their grip and a projection.

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Still Waters by Bridget Claire's avatar

I think I understand why you’re still a virgin…

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Bridget, if you’re gonna come for me, at least bring a sharper blade. Virginity isn’t an insult here, it’s the brand. Condescension? That’s just the sound empire hears whenever Magdalene gets restored to her actual stature. You call her an unholy chalice, I call her the revealer of wholeness. One of us is still parroting bishops, and it isn’t me.

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