Move over gladiators—make way for bishops in track suits. The Heresy Hunt Olympics turns early church debates into a full-blown sporting event, with Irenaeus reading rivals to sleep, Tertullian suing papyrus, and synchronized anathemas stealing the show.
Blessed be the ones who laugh in the ruins. If you saw bishops in tracksuits salsa dancing through the anathemas, then the Scroll has already done its work.
I'd love to know what the /Gospel of Judas/ would've been like; there were rumors that he and Jesus knew what was likely/going to happen, and were in on it together (poor Judas). :-/
And I had no idea that "the kingdom is within you" was Gnostic! :D
Billy Joel could have written the Creed in four verses and a chorus. Whole councils reduced to a bar song.
And yes, poor Judas. In his gospel he is less traitor, more accomplice. Not selling out, but carrying out. Not greedy, but chosen to do the dirtiest job. That version had to be buried. Too much mercy in one place makes empire sweat.
“The kingdom is within you” comes from Thomas. Gnostic or not, it was the line Rome prayed would vanish. Hard to build stone cathedrals when the true sanctuary is pulsing inside your chest.
So very true. As quickly as possible, the powers that be had to king’s X the gift of the Spirit and Jesus’ words of assurance that the only temple was now our hearts. They HAD to turn people into herd animals and teach them they were sinful to the core, disgusted God and needed THEM to overcome our stupidity and unapproachableness to our Father/Mother. That we needed them to decipher any written information- we needed THEIR knowledge, wisdom and expertise and ability to translate anything God supposedly said. If we became aware of the amazing Spirit that had taken up residence in our hearts and minds and embraced the fact that we had been promised that our Spirit would lead us into ALL truth - then all their plans would fail. They certainly wouldn’t be able to fill their coffers that’s for sure. And those who pulled away and challenged their lies and control? They were brutally dealt with. Jesus said that when he set us free, we’d be free indeed. They certainly couldn’t have THAT if they were to remain in control.
They still can’t. Many of us who walk in the Spirit today and live in Freedom’s Love are condemned as “lone wolves”, extremely dangerous to the pack, not to be trusted and must be shunned and kept away at all cost. They will stoop to anything to keep the Truth away from “their” ministry, “their” people, “their” so called “church”. They’re truly terrified of those they call “woke”, the ones who have the beatitudes written in our hearts.
And take it from a wildlife biologist: lone wolves can be booted out of the family (a wolf pack is basically an extended family: Mom, Dad, siblings of mom/dad, cousins, kids, etc., so only Mom and Dad are making out and having pups, it's not really an "ALPHA!!!" or otherwise thing) for discipline issues, or they could be striking out on their own to form a new pack: meet someone nice of the opposite sex, settle down in a territory, have pups, etc. They really wouldn't get that chance if they'd stayed home.
If they have no interest in "someone nice of the opposite sex" (and yes, it does happen in nature, about 8-10% of the time on average, almost always social critters who form groups [herds, packs, pods, flocks, etc.]), then they can stay put in the original pack indefinitely and help provide for the pups, thus ensuring that at least their nieces' and nephews' DNA will continue, and thus a bit of theirs. Or they can head out with the lone wolf and help out with the new pack, without anyone worrying that their non-existent pups would be competing with the original "lone wolf's."
Venn Diagrams are usually associated with probability (leading to stats.). Neither geometry nor trigonometry are involved. Proofs never bothered me in the least, and analytic geometry involving calculus points toward the divine but I agree that trigonometry, especially related to polar coordinates and to the identities is beautiful mathematics.
Now this is funny but tragically current - my example over here in the land of topsy turvy where a king is one of the people and the commoners rule like kings, I digress. I live in a tiny rural community - a hamlet really but we call it a village. Our church (Church of England, religious empire but in denial) is more or less redundant as the priest has over 30 churches and parishes to look after but, predictably, the last priest left to protect her well being and no one wants to take her place. Finding clergy to take a service is difficult but the community likes to meet for worship 3 or 4 times a year on special occasions. To help, I said I would be happy to lead a service but on investigation my heresy would get in the way (not trinitarian, love is God, Jesus wasn't divine, the divine feminine is included were key amongst other things) but the biggest issue was that I would have to 'swear loyalty' to the Bishop, I'd rather play cards with Boris Johnson or stick my hand in a nest of wasps. They're still enforcing the orthodoxy after 1800 years, the blighters.
Well my first post went into the ether or someone else's box...
I put my coffee down after reading the subtitle. Good decision. It was so humorous. Another satire with truth and witty.
I was struck by how if you changed up a few games and names, it could be about today. Unfortunately, there would be little to no change in the audience.
Celia, yes. Swap out the togas for tailored suits and the anathemas for press releases, and it’s the same circus. The crowd still cheers, still picks sides, still misses the quiet voice saying none of this is the point.
Hilarious, but hauntingly perceptive. A mirror held to the often overlooked spectacle of religious authority, where doctrine becomes drama and condemnation is performance.
The poignant reminder that real spirituality is not a competition, it’s a return to the quiet.
Glad it landed with you, VedicSoul. The councils were theater before theater existed, and the stage is still crowded with men mistaking their echoes for God.
The quiet you name is the part they could never legislate. No canon can contain it. No creed can cancel it. That’s the homecoming.
First, I’ve always wanted to try a “Eucharist on a stick”. That image will stick with me for the rest of this earthly life. 😳
Secret sadist that I am, I’ve had a hidden desire since childhood to see a scribe’s beard catch on fire. 🔥
It’s embarrassing to admit but I will - if a Cappadocian winked at me, I’d swoon. 😉
And I gotta agree with Wendy 😆 only the first time I took Ambien I KNEW I’d taken it in a previous life at least 15 centuries earlier (only it was much more potent back then) 😴
Sorta kinda wish I’d been there to witness it (dressed as a man of course)
Beth Ann, you just rewrote church history as burlesque theater and I am here for it.
Eucharist on a stick belongs at every state fair. Beard-fires should be in the canon of miracles. And if a Cappadocian winked, half the council would have fainted into their parchment.
Ambien through the ages might explain half the visions in the desert. Maybe those monks weren’t all seeing angels… maybe just the world’s strongest sleep aid.
Oh my goodness I loved every single word!
I laughed out loud and smiled as I visualized these scenes… 🙌✨💕
This gets my Highest Stamp of Approval!-
Salsa Dancing Girl 💃
Wonderful!
Blessed be the ones who laugh in the ruins. If you saw bishops in tracksuits salsa dancing through the anathemas, then the Scroll has already done its work.
Quite an exercise for the mind! Haha!
“Never underestimate the weaponization of tedium. Irenaeus invented Ambien fifteen centuries early.” I laughed so hard at this...
"We didn't light the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't light the fire
No we didn't light it
But we're trying to fight it..."
I'd love to know what the /Gospel of Judas/ would've been like; there were rumors that he and Jesus knew what was likely/going to happen, and were in on it together (poor Judas). :-/
And I had no idea that "the kingdom is within you" was Gnostic! :D
Billy Joel could have written the Creed in four verses and a chorus. Whole councils reduced to a bar song.
And yes, poor Judas. In his gospel he is less traitor, more accomplice. Not selling out, but carrying out. Not greedy, but chosen to do the dirtiest job. That version had to be buried. Too much mercy in one place makes empire sweat.
“The kingdom is within you” comes from Thomas. Gnostic or not, it was the line Rome prayed would vanish. Hard to build stone cathedrals when the true sanctuary is pulsing inside your chest.
So very true. As quickly as possible, the powers that be had to king’s X the gift of the Spirit and Jesus’ words of assurance that the only temple was now our hearts. They HAD to turn people into herd animals and teach them they were sinful to the core, disgusted God and needed THEM to overcome our stupidity and unapproachableness to our Father/Mother. That we needed them to decipher any written information- we needed THEIR knowledge, wisdom and expertise and ability to translate anything God supposedly said. If we became aware of the amazing Spirit that had taken up residence in our hearts and minds and embraced the fact that we had been promised that our Spirit would lead us into ALL truth - then all their plans would fail. They certainly wouldn’t be able to fill their coffers that’s for sure. And those who pulled away and challenged their lies and control? They were brutally dealt with. Jesus said that when he set us free, we’d be free indeed. They certainly couldn’t have THAT if they were to remain in control.
They still can’t. Many of us who walk in the Spirit today and live in Freedom’s Love are condemned as “lone wolves”, extremely dangerous to the pack, not to be trusted and must be shunned and kept away at all cost. They will stoop to anything to keep the Truth away from “their” ministry, “their” people, “their” so called “church”. They’re truly terrified of those they call “woke”, the ones who have the beatitudes written in our hearts.
Well, let us make empire sweat, then.
Ha! Yes! :D
And take it from a wildlife biologist: lone wolves can be booted out of the family (a wolf pack is basically an extended family: Mom, Dad, siblings of mom/dad, cousins, kids, etc., so only Mom and Dad are making out and having pups, it's not really an "ALPHA!!!" or otherwise thing) for discipline issues, or they could be striking out on their own to form a new pack: meet someone nice of the opposite sex, settle down in a territory, have pups, etc. They really wouldn't get that chance if they'd stayed home.
If they have no interest in "someone nice of the opposite sex" (and yes, it does happen in nature, about 8-10% of the time on average, almost always social critters who form groups [herds, packs, pods, flocks, etc.]), then they can stay put in the original pack indefinitely and help provide for the pups, thus ensuring that at least their nieces' and nephews' DNA will continue, and thus a bit of theirs. Or they can head out with the lone wolf and help out with the new pack, without anyone worrying that their non-existent pups would be competing with the original "lone wolf's."
I got stuck, as I usually do, on the classic Venn Diagram.
Ah yes, the sacred geometry of heresy: one circle for “bad ideas,” one circle for “wounded egos,” and in the middle, entire church councils.
I dunno about God being geometry; I always preferred trigonometry (geometry on steroids, with less PROVING needing to be done...). :)
Venn Diagrams are usually associated with probability (leading to stats.). Neither geometry nor trigonometry are involved. Proofs never bothered me in the least, and analytic geometry involving calculus points toward the divine but I agree that trigonometry, especially related to polar coordinates and to the identities is beautiful mathematics.
“ It was only a matter of time before theology discovered cardio. “
😂🤣
T Shirt anyone?
That line was pure Spirit—sweat-drenched and slightly heretical.
‘Slightly heretical ‘makes me giggle .
Can we have a gathering place called
The Slightly Heretical
maybe it is a newspaper
or
a wee pub tucked underneath a willow tree where sweet souls gather for a nip of scotch on sunday afternoon ?
Why does it have such an endearing twinkle in its eye.
A remarkable piece! Fun and witty with a spice of the truth that cannot be hidden!
Truth has a way of sneaking into the carnival no matter how many bishops are waving red flags.
Aleks, this was brilliant. Once again. I don't often laugh out loud when reading, but you always manage to make me do just that.
Now this is funny but tragically current - my example over here in the land of topsy turvy where a king is one of the people and the commoners rule like kings, I digress. I live in a tiny rural community - a hamlet really but we call it a village. Our church (Church of England, religious empire but in denial) is more or less redundant as the priest has over 30 churches and parishes to look after but, predictably, the last priest left to protect her well being and no one wants to take her place. Finding clergy to take a service is difficult but the community likes to meet for worship 3 or 4 times a year on special occasions. To help, I said I would be happy to lead a service but on investigation my heresy would get in the way (not trinitarian, love is God, Jesus wasn't divine, the divine feminine is included were key amongst other things) but the biggest issue was that I would have to 'swear loyalty' to the Bishop, I'd rather play cards with Boris Johnson or stick my hand in a nest of wasps. They're still enforcing the orthodoxy after 1800 years, the blighters.
Well my first post went into the ether or someone else's box...
I put my coffee down after reading the subtitle. Good decision. It was so humorous. Another satire with truth and witty.
I was struck by how if you changed up a few games and names, it could be about today. Unfortunately, there would be little to no change in the audience.
Celia, yes. Swap out the togas for tailored suits and the anathemas for press releases, and it’s the same circus. The crowd still cheers, still picks sides, still misses the quiet voice saying none of this is the point.
Brilliant...!
Hilarious, but hauntingly perceptive. A mirror held to the often overlooked spectacle of religious authority, where doctrine becomes drama and condemnation is performance.
The poignant reminder that real spirituality is not a competition, it’s a return to the quiet.
Thank you for a sharp and spirited reflection ..🙏
Glad it landed with you, VedicSoul. The councils were theater before theater existed, and the stage is still crowded with men mistaking their echoes for God.
The quiet you name is the part they could never legislate. No canon can contain it. No creed can cancel it. That’s the homecoming.
🙏🙏
First, I’ve always wanted to try a “Eucharist on a stick”. That image will stick with me for the rest of this earthly life. 😳
Secret sadist that I am, I’ve had a hidden desire since childhood to see a scribe’s beard catch on fire. 🔥
It’s embarrassing to admit but I will - if a Cappadocian winked at me, I’d swoon. 😉
And I gotta agree with Wendy 😆 only the first time I took Ambien I KNEW I’d taken it in a previous life at least 15 centuries earlier (only it was much more potent back then) 😴
Sorta kinda wish I’d been there to witness it (dressed as a man of course)
Love ending my day laffing this hard 😅😂🤣
Beth Ann, you just rewrote church history as burlesque theater and I am here for it.
Eucharist on a stick belongs at every state fair. Beard-fires should be in the canon of miracles. And if a Cappadocian winked, half the council would have fainted into their parchment.
Ambien through the ages might explain half the visions in the desert. Maybe those monks weren’t all seeing angels… maybe just the world’s strongest sleep aid.