Your ego isn’t your identity—it’s just a flashy knockoff accessory. This piece unpacks the difference between essence, personality, and the false self with a wink, a runway, and a little spiritual satire.
"The false self is itchy polyester. It does not breathe. Essence is cotton, broken-in and honest. Personality is a leather jacket you can swap with the seasons. The false self is a $600 shoe that ruins your back and still does not get you into the club."
I shared this with my son, who appreciates the allegory.
"Presence is a willed skill and a learned skill. You cannot be conscious on autopilot. You choose it, and then you practice until choosing gets less dramatic."
We forget this. The first time we meet someone who really is truly present with us, we think it's just a personality quirk on their part. Nope. That person has put in a good bit of hard work to get there. It only looks autopilot.
And if someone is just quiet? Mercy, that person might simply be an introvert.
Discovering you on Substack through comments you’ve made has given me great clarity of late and also some peace. And this post in particular will be one to which I refer in the coming months. Thanks. 💜
Susie, I’m glad you found me through those comment threads. That is one of the gifts of this space, the way we find each other when we are ready. Knowing this post will be something you return to tells me it hit the note it needed to.
Another brilliant, witty, and profound post. There are so many great lines that I cannot choose a favorite! I admire your skill in presenting wisdom in such an engaging way! May many grasp and ponder this! 🙏❤️🙏
As a retired actor and director, getting the ego under control is minute by minute effort. Recognizing it was the first thing. I know now that I'm an introvert. Imagine that. Years of pretending on top of purposeful pretending. I'm getting better but still have so much work to do.
From “rock me on the water” to “these days” to “late for the sky” to “the pretender” - Jackson’s gems of lyrics & music have always had my tears rolling as he hop skipped & jumped from how we show our false self to our personality & back, always with essence whispering, barely audible, “come hither, I’m over here”. What a perfect soundtrack for such a wake up call about what’s the fashion accessory - where itz so easy to just slap that snooze button over & over till we forget we promised ourselves we were gonna show up differently the next morning. He knew the truth, wrote it & sang it like few others. Righteous musical choice for this satirical piece of truth & lesson in growing real. (Glad i read before bed so i could cry myself to sleep rather than read when i woke up & stifle the sobs & choke on my coffee)☕️😢
Beth Ann, this is such a gorgeous reflection. Jackson has always had that rare gift of peeling back the layers until we see what is really there. I love how you tied his music to the false self waking up and hitting the snooze button one more time. Thank you for letting the piece move you like that — tears and all.
This was such a creative and insightful read. I loved the way you used the runway metaphor to make deep ideas feel fresh and funny, especially the contrast between essence, personality, and the false self. The “itchy polyester” line really stuck with me, it made the whole concept click in a relatable way. Thanks for sharing something both playful and thought-provoking 🙂
New subscriber here. I love this:
"The false self is itchy polyester. It does not breathe. Essence is cotton, broken-in and honest. Personality is a leather jacket you can swap with the seasons. The false self is a $600 shoe that ruins your back and still does not get you into the club."
I shared this with my son, who appreciates the allegory.
I loved it, too, and immediately thought of my son! Small world/ great minds. 🥰
"The ego is a tool of expression, not the location of your identity." I love the way you have explained this. Thank you!
"Presence is a willed skill and a learned skill. You cannot be conscious on autopilot. You choose it, and then you practice until choosing gets less dramatic."
We forget this. The first time we meet someone who really is truly present with us, we think it's just a personality quirk on their part. Nope. That person has put in a good bit of hard work to get there. It only looks autopilot.
And if someone is just quiet? Mercy, that person might simply be an introvert.
As a former fashion person, I also loved this.
As usual, impeccable allegory. 😄
Insightful & witty...!
This is both mirror and mercy.
Bottom line is, we came barefoot, we will leave barefoot.
So walk barefoot. The real runway has always been within.
This is beautiful. That image of walking barefoot feels like the perfect companion to what I was trying to say.
That's what I perceived when I read your satire.. like always your satire is a fantastic weapon..😅
It demolishes the nonsense and liberates the core… great work 🙏🙏
Thanks for a much needed cry with my coffee this morning💕
Thank you :)
Discovering you on Substack through comments you’ve made has given me great clarity of late and also some peace. And this post in particular will be one to which I refer in the coming months. Thanks. 💜
Susie, I’m glad you found me through those comment threads. That is one of the gifts of this space, the way we find each other when we are ready. Knowing this post will be something you return to tells me it hit the note it needed to.
The idea of finding each other when we need to is lovely. 💜
Another brilliant, witty, and profound post. There are so many great lines that I cannot choose a favorite! I admire your skill in presenting wisdom in such an engaging way! May many grasp and ponder this! 🙏❤️🙏
As a retired actor and director, getting the ego under control is minute by minute effort. Recognizing it was the first thing. I know now that I'm an introvert. Imagine that. Years of pretending on top of purposeful pretending. I'm getting better but still have so much work to do.
From “rock me on the water” to “these days” to “late for the sky” to “the pretender” - Jackson’s gems of lyrics & music have always had my tears rolling as he hop skipped & jumped from how we show our false self to our personality & back, always with essence whispering, barely audible, “come hither, I’m over here”. What a perfect soundtrack for such a wake up call about what’s the fashion accessory - where itz so easy to just slap that snooze button over & over till we forget we promised ourselves we were gonna show up differently the next morning. He knew the truth, wrote it & sang it like few others. Righteous musical choice for this satirical piece of truth & lesson in growing real. (Glad i read before bed so i could cry myself to sleep rather than read when i woke up & stifle the sobs & choke on my coffee)☕️😢
Beth Ann, this is such a gorgeous reflection. Jackson has always had that rare gift of peeling back the layers until we see what is really there. I love how you tied his music to the false self waking up and hitting the snooze button one more time. Thank you for letting the piece move you like that — tears and all.
This was such a creative and insightful read. I loved the way you used the runway metaphor to make deep ideas feel fresh and funny, especially the contrast between essence, personality, and the false self. The “itchy polyester” line really stuck with me, it made the whole concept click in a relatable way. Thanks for sharing something both playful and thought-provoking 🙂