When Facebook Comments Become a Full-Time Job: The Curious Case of Mark Lusardi
A comment thread so chaotic it deserves a Netflix docuseries ā or at least a wellness check.
It started with a simple post ā a meme quoting Lawrence OāDonnell, listing liberal achievements like getting women and African Americans the right to vote, passing the Civil Rights Act, creating Medicare, and more.
Cue the entrance of Terry Dean and Mark Lusardi, two Facebook warriors with the combined energy of a dive bar heckler and a malfunctioning spellcheck.
Chapter 1: Terry Opens the Portal
Terry Dean came in hot with the intellectual rigor of a used vape pen, calling Aleksander āDavid Riewe,ā dropping slurs, and flexing 8th grade insults like itās 1998 and weāre all in a Halo chat room.
Chapter 2: Mark Enters the Chat (and Never Leaves)
Mark Lusardi began what would become an epic descent into keyboard-induced madness. His greatest hits include:
Repeating āAND , ?ā like a Gregorian chant for the grammatically challenged
Constructing sentences so disjointed they might qualify as abstract art
Claiming Aleksanderās comments were being stored in a āforensics file being developedā
Chapter 3: Aleksander Drops the Blessings
Aleksander (aka Virgin Monk Boy) took the stage like a linguistic samurai, offering both enlightenment and incineration. Each roast was dipped in clarity and served with a side of spiritual sass:
āRepeats āDavid Rieweā like itās Beetlejuice for brainworms.ā
āThatās not a roast, Mark. Thatās an acid trip through a high school English class you barely passed.ā
āYour insults are punctuation cosplay.ā
Chapter 4: The Fever Dream Escalates
Then Mark took a hard turn from quirky troll to full conspiracy theorist. In what might be the most unhinged comment of the year, he claimed Aleksās comments would explain why he was ācaught in a Milwaukee ghetto with body parts from young Asian boys.ā
Yes. He typed that. On Facebook. Sober (we assume).
Chapter 5: The āForensics Fileā
Just when you thought it couldnāt get weirder, Mark dropped this gem:
āWe enjoy your subtle profanity, which will be useful in your forensics file being developed.ā
Thatās not a mic drop. Thatās a cry for adult supervision and a reminder that not everyone should have Wi-Fi access after midnight.
Closing Blessing
Virgin Monk Boy Blessingā¢:
May your next sentence contain both a subject and a verb.
And may your keyboard forgive you for the crimes you commit against grammar every time you log on.
Moral of the Story
When the facts are strong, trolls get weird.
When the roast is spiritual, the meltdown is biblical.
And when all else failsā¦ invent a āforensics file.ā
Stay blessed. Stay spicy. And may your punctuation never be weaponized in vain
Before you vanish back into the illusionāsmash that LIKE or SHARE button like itās a temple gong. One tiny click, one cosmic ripple. Thatās how we spread the heresy of hope and grow this little corner of soul-awakening satire.
And if this jolt stirred something in your chest cavity, consider upgrading to a paid subscription. It keeps the scrolls coming, the incense burning, and the heretic coffee hot. āļøš
(Yes, you can literally buy me a coffee. Enlightenment isnāt free, darling.)
Gotta love the broken record tactic. All the wit and determination of a second grader whose mommy forgot to give him his post-Cocoa Puffs dose of Ritalin before school.