18 Comments
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Angela's avatar

I don't know what I adore more: someone who is spiritually awake, or someone who is spiritually awake and HILARIOUS. VMB, you made my day. I feel post-retreatlike already.

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Karen Sommer's avatar

This quasi-spiritual circus is LOL hilarious! So glad your accidental dark retreat was enlightening! Yes, I’ve chosen to step away & have a mellow un-vacation: some beautiful but extremely unambitious mini-hikes in my area. Basically I have a mini-vacation every day by connecting with nature somehow. Works for me!🌅

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Nancy's avatar

The one really, hopefully, effective thing I see coming out of all this is an increase in eco-tourism...as long as it's not over-done and ruins more than it helps. But especially in America, money talks REALLY LOUDLY, and if you can convince some lawmaker looking for a fast, hefty campaign fee, that saving a local wilderness area for the eco-tourism $$$ (and accidentally helping the poor beleaguered endemic wildlife) is a good idea, good on ya. :-/

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David Townsend's avatar

This is easily the best piece of spiritual satire I've read in, I don't know how long. I'm reminded of a Matt Groening "Life in Hell" cartoon from the pre-Simpsons 1980's: "Gain Enlightenment fast, or my name isn't Swami Binkinanda."

As Rumi said (more or less), "The Mystery does not get clearer by repeating the question, nor is it bought by travelling to amazing places."

Gotta run. My aura is due for a tuneup at 2 p.m.

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Swami Binkinanda would be thriving on Instagram today.

Meanwhile the Mystery still sits barefoot in the corner, unmoved by likes or life coaches.

May your aura survive the tuneup—and may we all resist the next shiny shortcut to what was never lost.

Virgin Monk Boy

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Sarah - Goddess in Training's avatar

Thanks for the idea to add moonstone jewelry pop-ups to my upcoming Costa Rica retreats 😉

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Madeleine Ann Eames's avatar

Killing myself laughing as I see myself here.

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Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

This really moved me, wow:

• Find a patch of earth. Sit upon it.

• Find a breath. Follow it to the bottom.

• Find a single honest thought. Question it until it dissolves.

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Dawn Klinge's avatar

I loved this! You made me smile, and yes, there's truth here. 😊

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VedicSoul's avatar

"Awakening is not an escape"... No more needs to be imbibed....

And who knows in their Himalayan sojourn one might bump into me, i am positive they wouldn't want that, because I offer strictly no escape...

🙏

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Indeed—awakening is no escape. You and I agree. The article was a satire on the ways modern spirituality sells escape disguised as awakening. Many miss this—sometimes because the marketing is so good.

If our paths cross in the mountains, may it be with open eyes and empty hands. No escape required.

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Nancy's avatar

One of the more profound spiritual suggestions I've ever experienced was from the movie, /Buckaroo Bonzai [sp.?] in the Eighth Dimension/: "Wherever you go, there YOU are."

You can't get away from yourself, no matter where you go. Might as well just find a lovely local path in a patch of wild, or even in your back yard or balcony, and just sit still and hush up for a bit. :)

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Nancy, you are absolutely right. And so was Buckaroo Banzai, a prophet in goggles if ever there was one. Enlightenment doesn’t come with a passport stamp. You can sit cross-legged in a Himalayan cave or on a folding chair in the suburbs—either way, you're still stuck with yourself.

The real path isn’t "out there." It’s in that awkward silence when your to-do list collapses and your soul asks, “So... now what?”

Sit. Stay. Fetch nothing.

May your backyard be as wild as any mountain.

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Peter d'Errico's avatar

Brilliant post!

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Sharon Castillo's avatar

I loved this but must say it made me feel like going down to the local bar and having a beer with the boys lol. Hope u don't think I'm terribly misguided💞

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Shirley Peck's avatar

Thanks so much for the happy trip this morning. I enjoyed so much the smiles, chuckles, and snort as you led the way. It was educational, as I had to look up several words. I didn’t know what some of my spiritual body parts were. 😉

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Nancy's avatar

The chakras? Them, I'd heard of, but not so some of the other terms...didn't help stifle the giggles once I'd looked them up. ;)

They've been co-opted as buzz terms, poor things... :-/

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Jun 12
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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Depends who’s calling you, dear one.

If it’s a bishop clutching pearls—wear it like a badge. If it’s a fellow seeker with twinkling eyes—wear it like a crown.

Either way, heretics are just saints ahead of schedule.

—Virgin Monk Boy

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