What if the person irritating you is showing you something you haven’t faced in yourself? This post brings the Gospel of Thomas and Tibetan mind training into conversation—on projection, self-love, and the beam we keep pretending isn’t there.
Well laid out. Thank you. When I first consciously started to pray for those who irritate me or who I think are causing harm, I was amazed that I became concerned for them not angry at them. Not that I accept their bad behavior but I do not go to wishing them harm but that they would stop their behavior and their victims would be protected.
Sounds weird when i write it out but I have found it works for me.
Doesn’t sound weird at all. Sounds like spiritual aikido.
You just described the quiet alchemy that happens when we stop trying to win the war in our heads and instead ask grace to sneak behind enemy lines. Turns out, praying for the irritating doesn’t make us saints—it just makes us sane.
It’s not passive. It’s subversive. You're not excusing the harm—you’re refusing to let your nervous system become its collateral damage. That’s not weak. That’s wise.
Anni, thank you. Valerie Kaur walks like she’s been kissed by the Bodhisattvas and yelled at by her ancestors in the same breath. If this hit anywhere near that range, I’ll take it as grace with grit.
The Gospel and the Lojong don’t always play nice—sometimes they wrestle, sometimes they pray. Either way, they won't let you outsource your shadow.
Hahaha, that’s well said. Anyone with that much grace for herself and the world must have been shaped by the loving presence of those who have gone before, whether kissed or given a stern talking-to, or somehow just cradled by their deeds and DNA.
Thanks for once again naming important truths. We will all find our way home. 🏮
Making amends in AA & forgiving those who had harmed me was the first step….with too many steps in between to go into….but i never would’ve guessed that having my entire life transformed by a microscopic virus would be the nail in the coffin of those behaviors i struggled with. I was too sick, too tired & in too much pain to continue to be upset by anything other people did. Because my reaction that way literally hurt like hell physically. It wasnt worth it. And after grieving the loss of the life & health i had & getting tired of crying at God to help me & what did i do to deserve this, I’ll change - we’ve all seen this movie before, right?
It did give me lots of time to be still. To be quiet. To shut up& listen. To finally face the truth I’d always known, i wasnt being picked on & how lucky I was/am & the bottom line has become simple to me. Love just feels better. On all levels in all ways in every situation.
Do I still get pissed? Sure. Do I stay there? No. Saying I was an asshole & meaning it in the apology that follows is easier now cause i mean it. The response is their business. So is their being an asshole (sometimes).
So yeah, i guess i am the corny one that thinks the easy way out is to just breathe & live love as much as i can & the hardest part - forgiving MYSELF? Even that’s easier. And that’s a miracle. Made so much easier by reading gems like this that save my life every day..
If you’re the corny one, then pass me the whole damn cob because this right here? Sacred truth in flannel pajamas.
You didn’t just describe recovery. You mapped the terrain where ego finally gives up its megaphone because the body can't take another internal shouting match. A microscopic virus did what a thousand sermons couldn’t—it slowed you down long enough to feel grace from the inside out. That’s holy ground.
And yes—forgiving ourselves always shows up last to the meeting, muttering “Sorry I’m late, traffic was shame and childhood conditioning.” But you welcomed her anyway.
You’re not just breathing through the pain. You’re radiating the gospel that never needed a pulpit:
Well laid out. Thank you. When I first consciously started to pray for those who irritate me or who I think are causing harm, I was amazed that I became concerned for them not angry at them. Not that I accept their bad behavior but I do not go to wishing them harm but that they would stop their behavior and their victims would be protected.
Sounds weird when i write it out but I have found it works for me.
Celia—
Doesn’t sound weird at all. Sounds like spiritual aikido.
You just described the quiet alchemy that happens when we stop trying to win the war in our heads and instead ask grace to sneak behind enemy lines. Turns out, praying for the irritating doesn’t make us saints—it just makes us sane.
It’s not passive. It’s subversive. You're not excusing the harm—you’re refusing to let your nervous system become its collateral damage. That’s not weak. That’s wise.
Keep praying weird. The world needs more of that.
I really needed to be reminded of this, this morning. Love this collision. 🙏🏽
This is some straight-up Valerie Kaur level wisdom right here!
Anni, thank you. Valerie Kaur walks like she’s been kissed by the Bodhisattvas and yelled at by her ancestors in the same breath. If this hit anywhere near that range, I’ll take it as grace with grit.
The Gospel and the Lojong don’t always play nice—sometimes they wrestle, sometimes they pray. Either way, they won't let you outsource your shadow.
Stay barely Christian, fully awake.
Hahaha, that’s well said. Anyone with that much grace for herself and the world must have been shaped by the loving presence of those who have gone before, whether kissed or given a stern talking-to, or somehow just cradled by their deeds and DNA.
Thanks for once again naming important truths. We will all find our way home. 🏮
Making amends in AA & forgiving those who had harmed me was the first step….with too many steps in between to go into….but i never would’ve guessed that having my entire life transformed by a microscopic virus would be the nail in the coffin of those behaviors i struggled with. I was too sick, too tired & in too much pain to continue to be upset by anything other people did. Because my reaction that way literally hurt like hell physically. It wasnt worth it. And after grieving the loss of the life & health i had & getting tired of crying at God to help me & what did i do to deserve this, I’ll change - we’ve all seen this movie before, right?
It did give me lots of time to be still. To be quiet. To shut up& listen. To finally face the truth I’d always known, i wasnt being picked on & how lucky I was/am & the bottom line has become simple to me. Love just feels better. On all levels in all ways in every situation.
Do I still get pissed? Sure. Do I stay there? No. Saying I was an asshole & meaning it in the apology that follows is easier now cause i mean it. The response is their business. So is their being an asshole (sometimes).
So yeah, i guess i am the corny one that thinks the easy way out is to just breathe & live love as much as i can & the hardest part - forgiving MYSELF? Even that’s easier. And that’s a miracle. Made so much easier by reading gems like this that save my life every day..
Beth Ann…
If you’re the corny one, then pass me the whole damn cob because this right here? Sacred truth in flannel pajamas.
You didn’t just describe recovery. You mapped the terrain where ego finally gives up its megaphone because the body can't take another internal shouting match. A microscopic virus did what a thousand sermons couldn’t—it slowed you down long enough to feel grace from the inside out. That’s holy ground.
And yes—forgiving ourselves always shows up last to the meeting, muttering “Sorry I’m late, traffic was shame and childhood conditioning.” But you welcomed her anyway.
You’re not just breathing through the pain. You’re radiating the gospel that never needed a pulpit:
Love just feels better.
May we all catch that virus.
Grateful for your witness,