🙏 Wonderful wisdom in a culture that measures the “good place” in life on how “happy” one is. And “happiness” is based on so many (sorry, no offense) ridiculous things like how wealthy/financially secure you are, how beautiful you are - face, hair, height, body, weight etc etc etc, how smart, how educated, how healthy, where you live, what kind of house - it never ends.
One of the worst nightmares I’ve known was embracing a religion which actually measured a lot of one’s spiritual growth/superiority/maturity using these things as the balance we were measured in. Struggling financially? It was suggested there must be sin in your life😳 What the?
These words you share describe something that’s been difficult for me to express. I’ve tried at times to say “no, I’m sorry, true happiness (peace and joy) doesn’t lie in that direction.” We were never promised we wouldn’t have trouble, we were assured we would in fact, BUT Love God/Jesus/Spirit would be WITH us IN it.
One truly can know peace and joy in the midst of terrible struggles - at the same time. And whether you experience that the whole time you’re suffering isn’t the measure of “happiness” or spiritual attainment either.
See, I don’t feel I describe what I mean very well. But this essay helps immensely. 🙏 So thankful for you VMB and all of you fellow travelers here and all of your shares. You all bless me. 🙏
Living practice, living water...I'm thoroughly appreciating your delving into this river, VMB.
Happiness no longer needs to be clung to.
Unhappiness no longer needs to be resisted.
Neither is rejected. Neither is privileged. They are no longer asked to carry the weight of meaning.
They pass through.
(The best definition of equanimity I've seen.)
This is a life practice, something many of us grapple with, caught, and caught again in false beliefs of what will bring relief and happiness. Triggered by past experience, trauma.
How not to orient around a center that will hold as a goal? And end point?
I loved that chapter! So true. I think the quote about being knee deep in the river searching for water was earlier on, but wow, it's so real. I have been sitting with Presence every morning, sometimes 15 minutes that seem interminable, sometimes 50 minutes that seem like 5. Today was good. This is life changing work and I can't thank you enough for bringing it into my world.
From illusion (maya) to truth (sat), from reflection to source. That is the movement of Being. A clear mirror held up to the spiritual seeker. Thank you
Cultivating truth becomes attachment the moment it turns into ownership. When “truth” becomes something I possess, polish, defend, or wield, it’s just ego in a monk’s robe.
I'm not sure if this is on point or not, but something I've learned in my long life is that what you are feeling is correct. Whatever that is in the moment. There is no "should", there be is only "is". And you're going to feel what you feel whether you accept it or not, so you might as well lean into it. Or at least give yourself permission to feel it. Fighting against it is like trying to swim against a rip current. It wears you down and drowns you if you keep it up long enough.
Feelings don’t ask for permission and they don’t respond to arguments. They show up, tell the truth of the moment, and wait to see if we’re mature enough not to wrestle them into submission.
I encountered a couple of people yesterday at an ICE Out protest that needed to hear that -- or be reminded of it at least. It seemed to help. Permissions structures often do.
This essay is just what we need, after our 2-month holiday season of nonstop partying & over-the-top happy celebrations. What goes up must come down! I don’t want spirituality that’s just mood management. Mid-winter is a good time to learn about serenity & truth.🔥
I so appreciate you sharing this gem—Virgin Monk Boy consistently offers the kind of writing that slows me down in the best way. There’s something here that cuts through the noise without being harsh, that speaks of joy not as a high, but as something deeply rooted and lived. “Truth is a river” indeed… Thank you again for bringing this piece into the light.
I kept thinking of CS Lewis's work, "Surprised by Joy," as I read this. I know he meant something different, at least used the words differently, but the idea that we get to the state of joy by alignment with something greater than ourselves, not accomplishment, resonates with me.
WOW, yet another home run. This is dense and packed with wisdom. I will sit with this in one of my daily silence “time-out’s.”* I want to understand and add to the embodiment of the sacred I am experiencing. Most notable for me this past year was my ability to live with my husband’s passing: both the deepest personal grief of my life, the excruciating pain; and at the very same time I was filled with the joy and gratitudes of having gotten to spend 47 years of our lives together, side-by-side, as each discovered our own paths forward into living in two worlds at once. All year people would ask: “how are you doing?” I would quietly chuckle and answer: “Strangely, I’m in a place I never in a million years expected to be. But my reality is I am content, I have so much gratitude bursting in my heart…and I’m truly at Peace. I consider this past year all miracle, a revelation about Being I didn’t know was possible. The title, “Surprised by Joy,” C. S. Lewis, 1955, comes to mind.
*Not knowing if there’s a more appropriate scroll to put this, I also want to speak about the VMB’s “Whispers from the Silence,” a prayer book written to provide structure for choosing to experience 3 times/day, 7 days/week, a path to inner Peace. I’m the last person on the planet whom I thought would intentionally take 3 periods of 30-45 minutes each day to sit in silence. The readings selected from the Gospels of Mary Magdalene and Thomas, are each landing for me like synchronicity bringing me questions I could never have created on my own. Yet each question is perfectly timed, what I need/want to hear each day. I can’t explain it, but each day is so filled with meaning and heart for me. I mention this for two reasons: I want you,
VMB, to hear how your selections are serving my own preparation for discerning my future, co-creating what I’m meant to do next with my new life. And, if anyone is wanting to deepen their understanding of their own Soul, the questions posed help me see one more piece I can chip-away from the exterior of my Soul to reveal only the inner core. Like Michelangelo when asked how he sculpted David: “I chipped away all the pieces were
not-David.” Thank you, VMB, and a deep bow to all who participate in these conversations.❤️🙏❤️😎🐶
Yes, I understand what you have written VMB, even though it seems far off and, for me, unattainable. Just one bit I need further explanation on
'But happiness is structurally dependent. It exists because something happened, because something aligned, because something satisfied a want.'
When I was young and less messy I had times where I just felt unreasonably happy - for no particular reason. I had the same in reverse for feeling depressed. I couldn't identify triggers. Was that happiness? It felt like it. Maybe I've just read what you wrote wrong.
🙏 Wonderful wisdom in a culture that measures the “good place” in life on how “happy” one is. And “happiness” is based on so many (sorry, no offense) ridiculous things like how wealthy/financially secure you are, how beautiful you are - face, hair, height, body, weight etc etc etc, how smart, how educated, how healthy, where you live, what kind of house - it never ends.
One of the worst nightmares I’ve known was embracing a religion which actually measured a lot of one’s spiritual growth/superiority/maturity using these things as the balance we were measured in. Struggling financially? It was suggested there must be sin in your life😳 What the?
These words you share describe something that’s been difficult for me to express. I’ve tried at times to say “no, I’m sorry, true happiness (peace and joy) doesn’t lie in that direction.” We were never promised we wouldn’t have trouble, we were assured we would in fact, BUT Love God/Jesus/Spirit would be WITH us IN it.
One truly can know peace and joy in the midst of terrible struggles - at the same time. And whether you experience that the whole time you’re suffering isn’t the measure of “happiness” or spiritual attainment either.
See, I don’t feel I describe what I mean very well. But this essay helps immensely. 🙏 So thankful for you VMB and all of you fellow travelers here and all of your shares. You all bless me. 🙏
Living practice, living water...I'm thoroughly appreciating your delving into this river, VMB.
Happiness no longer needs to be clung to.
Unhappiness no longer needs to be resisted.
Neither is rejected. Neither is privileged. They are no longer asked to carry the weight of meaning.
They pass through.
(The best definition of equanimity I've seen.)
This is a life practice, something many of us grapple with, caught, and caught again in false beliefs of what will bring relief and happiness. Triggered by past experience, trauma.
How not to orient around a center that will hold as a goal? And end point?
Well said. May we all cultivate truth.
I loved that chapter! So true. I think the quote about being knee deep in the river searching for water was earlier on, but wow, it's so real. I have been sitting with Presence every morning, sometimes 15 minutes that seem interminable, sometimes 50 minutes that seem like 5. Today was good. This is life changing work and I can't thank you enough for bringing it into my world.
I agree, life changing. Filled with gratitude that I am ready to receive it.
From illusion (maya) to truth (sat), from reflection to source. That is the movement of Being. A clear mirror held up to the spiritual seeker. Thank you
🙏
The last time I saw my sister, she was teary-eyed because "your life has been so terrible! Have you ever been happy?"
I said, "Well, I've had some happy times. But I have had a LOT of joy." I don't know if she really got it.
Joy remains and sustains.
Happiness is like waves on the beach.
This is a beautiful poem: Happiness Is a Mirage. Truth Is a River.
Is “cultivating” truth another form of attachment, just like seeking, demanding or earning?
Cultivating truth becomes attachment the moment it turns into ownership. When “truth” becomes something I possess, polish, defend, or wield, it’s just ego in a monk’s robe.
I'm not sure if this is on point or not, but something I've learned in my long life is that what you are feeling is correct. Whatever that is in the moment. There is no "should", there be is only "is". And you're going to feel what you feel whether you accept it or not, so you might as well lean into it. Or at least give yourself permission to feel it. Fighting against it is like trying to swim against a rip current. It wears you down and drowns you if you keep it up long enough.
That’s very much on point.
Feelings don’t ask for permission and they don’t respond to arguments. They show up, tell the truth of the moment, and wait to see if we’re mature enough not to wrestle them into submission.
I encountered a couple of people yesterday at an ICE Out protest that needed to hear that -- or be reminded of it at least. It seemed to help. Permissions structures often do.
This essay is just what we need, after our 2-month holiday season of nonstop partying & over-the-top happy celebrations. What goes up must come down! I don’t want spirituality that’s just mood management. Mid-winter is a good time to learn about serenity & truth.🔥
Reminds me of the song Wade in the Water.
I just finished Living Presence. Such a clarifying book. His style lends itself well to pointing rather than lecturing.
Your take on this chapter turns things around, as you do so well, to illuminate what was there already.
Wise...
I so appreciate you sharing this gem—Virgin Monk Boy consistently offers the kind of writing that slows me down in the best way. There’s something here that cuts through the noise without being harsh, that speaks of joy not as a high, but as something deeply rooted and lived. “Truth is a river” indeed… Thank you again for bringing this piece into the light.
I kept thinking of CS Lewis's work, "Surprised by Joy," as I read this. I know he meant something different, at least used the words differently, but the idea that we get to the state of joy by alignment with something greater than ourselves, not accomplishment, resonates with me.
I truly enjoy your reflections, VMB. Thank you.
WOW, yet another home run. This is dense and packed with wisdom. I will sit with this in one of my daily silence “time-out’s.”* I want to understand and add to the embodiment of the sacred I am experiencing. Most notable for me this past year was my ability to live with my husband’s passing: both the deepest personal grief of my life, the excruciating pain; and at the very same time I was filled with the joy and gratitudes of having gotten to spend 47 years of our lives together, side-by-side, as each discovered our own paths forward into living in two worlds at once. All year people would ask: “how are you doing?” I would quietly chuckle and answer: “Strangely, I’m in a place I never in a million years expected to be. But my reality is I am content, I have so much gratitude bursting in my heart…and I’m truly at Peace. I consider this past year all miracle, a revelation about Being I didn’t know was possible. The title, “Surprised by Joy,” C. S. Lewis, 1955, comes to mind.
*Not knowing if there’s a more appropriate scroll to put this, I also want to speak about the VMB’s “Whispers from the Silence,” a prayer book written to provide structure for choosing to experience 3 times/day, 7 days/week, a path to inner Peace. I’m the last person on the planet whom I thought would intentionally take 3 periods of 30-45 minutes each day to sit in silence. The readings selected from the Gospels of Mary Magdalene and Thomas, are each landing for me like synchronicity bringing me questions I could never have created on my own. Yet each question is perfectly timed, what I need/want to hear each day. I can’t explain it, but each day is so filled with meaning and heart for me. I mention this for two reasons: I want you,
VMB, to hear how your selections are serving my own preparation for discerning my future, co-creating what I’m meant to do next with my new life. And, if anyone is wanting to deepen their understanding of their own Soul, the questions posed help me see one more piece I can chip-away from the exterior of my Soul to reveal only the inner core. Like Michelangelo when asked how he sculpted David: “I chipped away all the pieces were
not-David.” Thank you, VMB, and a deep bow to all who participate in these conversations.❤️🙏❤️😎🐶
Yes, I understand what you have written VMB, even though it seems far off and, for me, unattainable. Just one bit I need further explanation on
'But happiness is structurally dependent. It exists because something happened, because something aligned, because something satisfied a want.'
When I was young and less messy I had times where I just felt unreasonably happy - for no particular reason. I had the same in reverse for feeling depressed. I couldn't identify triggers. Was that happiness? It felt like it. Maybe I've just read what you wrote wrong.