In the wisdom traditions, “faking it till you make it” isn’t hypocrisy — it’s apprenticeship. Before authenticity comes formation. Learn why copying your teacher’s form can be the very thing that awakens your essential self.
A gift from Heaven, on a beautiful Sunday morning!🌅Good Teacher, thank you for lending us your steadiness until we find our own.🕊️ But leaf blowers do still try to aggravate me. Just sayin. 🧘🏻♀️
And your leaf blower comment< Karen, is a gift from Heaven to…waking me up to Laughter after reading the story of my life (faking it till you make it) finally laid out in resonance & that “omg this was totally written for me” sincerely egotistical response. Bravo & kudos are the best my sunday morning brain can conjure up for such delicious first read in the comments section 🙌🙏🤗👏 you guys rock (highest of compliments from my distant memory youth)
Stumbled across the first audiobook I purchased. I listened to it over and over then. I bought the book for I could highlight and return to what I was listening to. Fast forward a decade. Listening again only to discover the foundation was being built for the wisdom of Cynthia. A whole different understanding. Smiling as I realized that this path continues to deepen. Another layer of foundation is being built. Patience. Say yes. Another step on the path. Downward spiral toward ever more solid bedrock.🌀
Best way to learn is to teach. You think you’re passing out bread, but halfway through you realize they’ve been slipping you the real feast the whole time.
This makes total sense although I hadn't thought of it quite this way. Thank you. It occurs to me how natural this is because it's exactly what we do as children. We copy our parents, practicing being grownups. We dress up in clothes, repeat phrases, adopt mannerisms--without thinking about why. It's just how we grow.
True, Jane — imitation is how we learn. But for some of us, the apprenticeship wasn’t polite tea parties. It was learning to throw back an undercooked steak at the cook because “that’s how you get respect,” or catching 15 licks for fumbling a football, or getting whipped for saying “Goddamn” when the only reason you knew the word was because they yelled it first. Sometimes the sacred apprenticeship starts with unlearning the lessons we didn’t ask for.
Thank you for this. I dislike the call to be ‘authentic’ which is everywhere, and I sometimes feel cringe cos I absolutely know that sometimes I’m mimicking my teachers… and yet this feels more of a devotion to the real than ‘being myself’. I love how you’ve articulated it 🙏
Jenny, that’s the paradox they never put on Instagram. Sometimes the truest thing we can do is borrow another’s steps until we can dance our own. Mimicry in devotion is not fake. It is a love letter in the handwriting of the one who taught you to write.
Sometimes the fakery is just your future self trying on the clothes to see if they fit. Keep wearing them long enough and one day you realize you stopped pretending somewhere along the way.
Sometimes the monster isn’t a person at all. It’s the echo they wake up in you. That old reflex to armor up, spit fire, prove you’re not to be messed with. Ancient wisdom says you can’t out-monster a monster. But you can starve it. You can outlast it. You can keep sewing the garment you actually want to wear.
Not all i read invites repeat reads but this does. Uncomfortable truths “yeah, I’ve been there, done that…a million times” that don’t annoy, just coax me into re-engaging & do it again thru a different lens. I time-tripped back thru my reformation thru AA, OA. Alanon & the simple but not so easy12 step “program” that’s still alive & kicking but still needs daily refinement. Then 25 years ago up-pops an initiation into an ancient Peruvian Shamanic practice sharing the Pachakuti (World reversal) predicted & now unfolding all over the world. Absorbing your words described oh so precisely those apprenticeship journeys, stages & learning levels I lived & sometimes struggled to love but still do 💖. Thank you for putting into words exactly what I happily & desperately needed to read feel & hear. 👂📖💓
Sounds like you’ve walked through more than one fire and learned how to dance in the ashes. Honored the words could walk alongside your own stories for a bit.
As I read this post I was struck by how very similar the divine apprenticeship is to the military. Bear with me here and forgive me if this is offensive but I noted that every one of the bullet points are precisely what the higher-ups expect from recruits in the services. You arrive a mess, they further dismantle your 'self' and they expect emulation of those who trod the path before you. Can we be warriors for authenticity? Does the 'warrior' aspect conflict with essential self?
Only if we think “warrior” means armored up and swinging at everything. In the old ways, warriors were not just fighters. They were guardians of what mattered. You can fight for authenticity without becoming hostile, just as you can train like a soldier without losing your essential self. The trick is to let the discipline strip away what is false, not what is alive.
Elham, that’s it. The vessel isn’t a costume. It’s a kiln. We step into the shape not to hide but to harden what’s still soft. By the time the heat’s done, the form and the fire have both left their mark, and you carry the shape without even thinking about it.
What a beautiful essay. The concept of authenticity has always felt strange to me - I never knew where, what or who was the authentic me anyways. The concept of apprenticeship makes so much more sense 🙏🖤
Jessica, at the level of the heart, it’s hard to tell where one teacher ends and the student begins. We borrow shapes, words, gestures—until the lines blur. Maybe none of us has a truly private muse. Maybe it’s one great broadcast, and apprenticeship is just learning how to catch the signal clearly enough to make it your own.
BTW, When I read your writings, I wonder—what is my philosophy? Surely it’s more than trying to see Christ, God, or Buddha in the least of these. More than staying present in chaotic times. I find that simply holding that question, and sitting with whatever feelings it stirs, teaches me more about myself than rushing toward an answer ever could.
Exactly. Long before leadership was a podium and a paycheck, it was a circle and a shared fire. The feminine art wasn’t about climbing over others. It was about midwifing each other’s becoming.
"The path does not aim to polish the false self. It aims to dissolve it so the essential self can breathe." This is the line to study and study and study, in our fix-it obsessed culture. I also appreciate your words here on sacred apprenticeship. And while I would be nothing without my human teachers, my more-than-human apprenticeships were the most initiatory, in terms of both dissolving the false self and encountering the essential one within. Thank you!
That line about your more-than-human apprenticeships is a gem, Ama. The monastery taught me how to bow. The forest taught me who to bow to. And yes—our culture keeps trying to “upgrade” the false self like it’s an operating system, instead of letting it die a dignified death so something real can live.
A gift from Heaven, on a beautiful Sunday morning!🌅Good Teacher, thank you for lending us your steadiness until we find our own.🕊️ But leaf blowers do still try to aggravate me. Just sayin. 🧘🏻♀️
Karen, the leaf blower is just a gas-powered koan.
It shows up right when you think you’ve “made it,” to see if you actually have… or if you just learned how to sit still while cursing internally.
And your leaf blower comment< Karen, is a gift from Heaven to…waking me up to Laughter after reading the story of my life (faking it till you make it) finally laid out in resonance & that “omg this was totally written for me” sincerely egotistical response. Bravo & kudos are the best my sunday morning brain can conjure up for such delicious first read in the comments section 🙌🙏🤗👏 you guys rock (highest of compliments from my distant memory youth)
Stumbled across the first audiobook I purchased. I listened to it over and over then. I bought the book for I could highlight and return to what I was listening to. Fast forward a decade. Listening again only to discover the foundation was being built for the wisdom of Cynthia. A whole different understanding. Smiling as I realized that this path continues to deepen. Another layer of foundation is being built. Patience. Say yes. Another step on the path. Downward spiral toward ever more solid bedrock.🌀
Julia, that’s the trick nobody warns you about.
The “downward spiral” isn’t collapse. It’s the drill bit.
Each turn carves you closer to the bedrock you didn’t know was under your feet the whole time.
I was pushed into facilitating a Centering Prayer group & the members are helping me learn, are teaching me.
Best way to learn is to teach. You think you’re passing out bread, but halfway through you realize they’ve been slipping you the real feast the whole time.
This makes total sense although I hadn't thought of it quite this way. Thank you. It occurs to me how natural this is because it's exactly what we do as children. We copy our parents, practicing being grownups. We dress up in clothes, repeat phrases, adopt mannerisms--without thinking about why. It's just how we grow.
True, Jane — imitation is how we learn. But for some of us, the apprenticeship wasn’t polite tea parties. It was learning to throw back an undercooked steak at the cook because “that’s how you get respect,” or catching 15 licks for fumbling a football, or getting whipped for saying “Goddamn” when the only reason you knew the word was because they yelled it first. Sometimes the sacred apprenticeship starts with unlearning the lessons we didn’t ask for.
That is so sad and true.
Thank you for this. I dislike the call to be ‘authentic’ which is everywhere, and I sometimes feel cringe cos I absolutely know that sometimes I’m mimicking my teachers… and yet this feels more of a devotion to the real than ‘being myself’. I love how you’ve articulated it 🙏
Jenny, that’s the paradox they never put on Instagram. Sometimes the truest thing we can do is borrow another’s steps until we can dance our own. Mimicry in devotion is not fake. It is a love letter in the handwriting of the one who taught you to write.
At some point, the point of doing all the spiritual exercises is...to do the spiritual exercises. Until then, fake'm.
Sometimes the fakery is just your future self trying on the clothes to see if they fit. Keep wearing them long enough and one day you realize you stopped pretending somewhere along the way.
Absolutely
And there it is —
I’ve been circling the drain for the last week.
Because I allowed someone to get the best of me.
Because I stooped to their level—and
held my ground out of spite instead of love.
And while I spiral over tripping up, the person who provoked the response hasn’t given it another thought.
Because they represent everything I
never want to be.
So back to trying on the clothes and learning the stitches I shall go.
The key to fighting the monster is not to become it.
Sometimes the monster isn’t a person at all. It’s the echo they wake up in you. That old reflex to armor up, spit fire, prove you’re not to be messed with. Ancient wisdom says you can’t out-monster a monster. But you can starve it. You can outlast it. You can keep sewing the garment you actually want to wear.
Not all i read invites repeat reads but this does. Uncomfortable truths “yeah, I’ve been there, done that…a million times” that don’t annoy, just coax me into re-engaging & do it again thru a different lens. I time-tripped back thru my reformation thru AA, OA. Alanon & the simple but not so easy12 step “program” that’s still alive & kicking but still needs daily refinement. Then 25 years ago up-pops an initiation into an ancient Peruvian Shamanic practice sharing the Pachakuti (World reversal) predicted & now unfolding all over the world. Absorbing your words described oh so precisely those apprenticeship journeys, stages & learning levels I lived & sometimes struggled to love but still do 💖. Thank you for putting into words exactly what I happily & desperately needed to read feel & hear. 👂📖💓
Sounds like you’ve walked through more than one fire and learned how to dance in the ashes. Honored the words could walk alongside your own stories for a bit.
Honored that they did - i have a super powerful forgetter & appreciate superpowerfulreminders 🧠❤️🔥
As I read this post I was struck by how very similar the divine apprenticeship is to the military. Bear with me here and forgive me if this is offensive but I noted that every one of the bullet points are precisely what the higher-ups expect from recruits in the services. You arrive a mess, they further dismantle your 'self' and they expect emulation of those who trod the path before you. Can we be warriors for authenticity? Does the 'warrior' aspect conflict with essential self?
Only if we think “warrior” means armored up and swinging at everything. In the old ways, warriors were not just fighters. They were guardians of what mattered. You can fight for authenticity without becoming hostile, just as you can train like a soldier without losing your essential self. The trick is to let the discipline strip away what is false, not what is alive.
This is why I need you to round out my thoughts. It helps immensely.
Brilliant. Thank you!
A great post! Thanks, VMB.
Glad you enjoyed it, Matthew. Grateful you’re along for the journey.
We forget too easily that becoming is not an act of invention but of formation.
We learn to walk the path by walking like those who walked before us, not because our raw self is false, but because it is unready.
The form we borrow is not a lie; it is a vessel. We grow into it until the wine inside us is strong enough to pour.
And when it finally becomes ours, we no longer remember where the imitation ended and the truth began.
Elham, that’s it. The vessel isn’t a costume. It’s a kiln. We step into the shape not to hide but to harden what’s still soft. By the time the heat’s done, the form and the fire have both left their mark, and you carry the shape without even thinking about it.
What a beautiful essay. The concept of authenticity has always felt strange to me - I never knew where, what or who was the authentic me anyways. The concept of apprenticeship makes so much more sense 🙏🖤
Jessica, at the level of the heart, it’s hard to tell where one teacher ends and the student begins. We borrow shapes, words, gestures—until the lines blur. Maybe none of us has a truly private muse. Maybe it’s one great broadcast, and apprenticeship is just learning how to catch the signal clearly enough to make it your own.
BTW, When I read your writings, I wonder—what is my philosophy? Surely it’s more than trying to see Christ, God, or Buddha in the least of these. More than staying present in chaotic times. I find that simply holding that question, and sitting with whatever feelings it stirs, teaches me more about myself than rushing toward an answer ever could.
Thank you!
Yes! Mentorship is an ancient feminine art.
Exactly. Long before leadership was a podium and a paycheck, it was a circle and a shared fire. The feminine art wasn’t about climbing over others. It was about midwifing each other’s becoming.
"The path does not aim to polish the false self. It aims to dissolve it so the essential self can breathe." This is the line to study and study and study, in our fix-it obsessed culture. I also appreciate your words here on sacred apprenticeship. And while I would be nothing without my human teachers, my more-than-human apprenticeships were the most initiatory, in terms of both dissolving the false self and encountering the essential one within. Thank you!
That line about your more-than-human apprenticeships is a gem, Ama. The monastery taught me how to bow. The forest taught me who to bow to. And yes—our culture keeps trying to “upgrade” the false self like it’s an operating system, instead of letting it die a dignified death so something real can live.
Mmmm, indeed. And what a surprise it was, when the Beloved bowed back. In the words of John Muir, "going to the woods is going home."
Glad to find your kindred work.