Ego dresses itself in vestments and calls it holy, but Presence unmasks the disguise. This scroll wrestles with Cynthia Bourgeault’s teaching on the ‘self of compulsion’ and why domination—religious or personal—can build empires but never a soul.
The part about manifestation being a disguise for the ego is so true. But the good thing is that it brought me to the path, and the failures I experienced there pushed me, kicking and screaming, into the fire of surrender.
Aaron, that’s the holy trick of it. The ego thinks it’s chasing treasure, but it ends up digging its own grave. Manifestation promises control. Failure delivers surrender.
And sometimes it takes that collapse to crack us open. To find out grace was waiting at the bottom of the ash pile the whole time.
The most dangerous carnal desire isn’t lust - grabbed my attention as i heaved a sigh of relief. Old guilt from adolescent lectures linger. Didn’t last long - the self of compulsion.
As a recovering alcoholic/drug & food addict/anorexic/smoker, I will never ever forget what compulsion feels like. It kicked my ass in so many ways for so many years & easily could again if i don’t walk the spiritual paths I’ve found & keep in touch with the Higher Power that relieved me of those compulsions. Then domination jumped in & i went hmmmm….
I’ve been wimpy my whole life unless I’m backed up against a wall. Or you’re gonna mess with my babies (dogs) (RIP). Never wanted to be a boss. Too much responsibility. Hated babysitting & being the bad guy (never had kids). The only thing i disliked about my precious job as a flight attendant was having to enforce FAA rules with passengers. Most of us don’t like being told what we can & cannot do. And i hated being the dominator aka bad guy or gal.
But i felt enuf of this in my bones reading it, so much of the compulsion part resonated, that I quit splitting hairs & kept rolling.
And then I realized I’d been trying to control my heath issues (& mostly failing) for the past 5 years.
I’ve been spiraling thru treatments over & over, not climbing a ladder.
And suddenly I was reading my own life story of the past few months
Control is the last cigarette we hide in our sleeve. The hardest compulsion to quit because it dresses up like responsibility. Like virtue. But the collapse rips the costume right off and leaves us face-down with nothing but breath. Presence sneaks in through that crack.
Can I get a more precise definition of presence? What values or perspectives characterize it? Looking for more tangible attributes to help me better understood
It’s when the intellectual center (mind) stops racing and simply receives. The moving center (body) is grounded, not fidgeting or dissociating. The emotional center (heart) is open but not sentimental.
Unfortunately, it's one of those things that, like pornography, you know it when you "see" it. VMB did a great job of describing the state an individual can be in when Presence arrives...perhaps the most tangible attribute would be perfect love and an inability to experience fear? And that is can be in, not must be in.
This is an inspired message, period! It is a subject we all need to be aware of and to openly talk about. It is not something readily seen or acknowledged, but as you say, it is something often willfully hidden.
One thought though, concerning manifestation. Jesus told us to ask for things — NOT to demand or ask for status symbols with which to bowl others over.
It is OK to ask, but like in everything else, our hearts need to be right when we do.
And is there a balance involved as well? I recall your description of Presence: "It is spacious. It roots. It does not consume." To this field biologist, that sounds like a tree! :D Trees do consume, yeah, but they also produce; things are in balance, and so can endure gracefully for centuries. :)
I’m wondering if dominance might be like a gateway vice of sorts to bigger and greater vices. The power leads to more opportunity for lust, greed, or aggression. It’s like expanding the house to welcome in more unsavory guests and then allowing them to bring their friends. Like dominance is fine on its own, but the party really gets going when you’ve got more room, more buddies, and loud music to distract from presence.
Sorry, I was speaking from the perspective of those who are ok with vice and actively living in vice. I agree that it’s not morally ok to be dominant and we should always treat each other as we would have others treat us, as well as care and respect the environment. 🙏🏼
That clarification makes sense. And you’re right. Dominance isn’t neutral. It pretends to be just one choice among many, but it reshapes the whole atmosphere.
When someone is “ok with vice,” dominance becomes the scaffolding that makes the rest possible. It’s not just another guest. It’s the architect who remodels the house so greed and lust have suites of their own.
Presence, by contrast, never builds that extension. It contracts the house back to its original frame. Small. Honest. Enough. Where care, respect, and reciprocity actually have a place to breathe.
I think if Lust has any vileness to it, it's because of domination barging its way into that province. Desire is one thing, appreciation of beauty is one thing, even the urge to have young is one thing. But feeling the need to "OWN!!!" the other you ought to be joyfully sharing something delightfully physical with, that's nasty. :-/
"Lust" to "POSSESS!" anything, yeah, that's not good. Right up there with greed.
And once you gained the world, where would you put it?
I believe you are onto something here. But. I will never believe that dominance, on its own, can ever be OK. Supposedly, God said in Genesis (the Bible) that we were to dominate the earth and all that is in it. I have to wonder if it’s a mis-translation, because look at what we did to the earth. It seems we slowly are learning that our domination of all things, an example is the animals, is detrimental.
Mary, I’m with you. That old word “dominion” has done more damage than most people realize. If the translation had been “tend” or “care for,” the story of the world would look very different.
Domination bends everything toward use. Tending bends everything toward relationship. One strips the earth. The other keeps the garden alive.
If Genesis was meant as blessing, it was surely to be stewards, not steamrollers. And maybe now we are finally waking up to the difference.
That’s a good question Mary. I have been heartbroken over what we’ve done to the earth and all that was meant to bless us. Somehow I always “heard” when God gave us our assignment it WAS to care for, nurture and tend to the animals, all of nature and each other. I don’t know if it was the particular translation I had or just what my heart “heard”. I was shocked when I came in contact with people so focused on the second coming that they felt they could and should help “hasten” the “coming of the lord”. So much so they thought if they could raze the earth, use up all the resources, destroy the air etc, that his coming would be sooner - besides they’d say “it’s all gonna burn anyway!” 😳 WHAT???? My reply has always been “our FIRST assignment was to CARE for OUR Creator’s most important gift to us for our OWN sake as it was what would sustain us and give us life - incredible beauty and loving creatures to accompany us and all of it to feed our bodies (not necessarily using animals for that) AND our spirits/souls. It was our FIRST assignment and nowhere in the Bible can I find that it was EVER changed. I thought the concept of domination as in “I have the right to use up the earth and force God’s timing and hand in this second coming thing” was totally at humankind’s door and heartsickness rather than a misinterpretation of scripture. 🤷♀️ How did I miss this? I hate the word domination as it embraces the spirit of FORCE which religion has used to justify the disgusting mistreatment of others who needed to believe the correct things, or else!! Of course all that is based on other misconceptions of an angry god who must be appeased at all cost. The Presence and intimate relationship I’ve believed in, embraced and experienced is far, far away from any dominating Being who would force us to do it’s bidding and feel entitled to spiritually “rape” us at will. What planet have I been living on?🤦♀️ No wonder I’ve felt like a stranger in religious places. We don’t even agree on the original assignment in the first place I guess.
I’’m listening to Caroline Myss’ latest course, “The Guardians and Grace: Embracing the Sacred.” A phrase she uses keeps ringing in my head: “…making the shift from “Love of Power, to Power of Love.” The choice is always ours.
Even if it was "dominion," anyone who reads the rest of the Old Testament can see what G!d did to folks who /abused their Given dominions/ and did not take responsible care of them; the landscape back then must've been blackened with ex-dominions that'd been zotzed out of existence when G!d got fed up with the dominating rulers. :-/
G!d might not be quite so zotzy these days, but I once wrote a story where "the end" had come 'round for a few Earths (of varying universes/time streams) and were to be judged; some were a little late ("Gotta work on the schedules again...make a note, Uriel!" "Yes, sir."), and some were.../early/.
"Early. Before My time."
"...yes, sir..."
Basically, Earth was on its last legs and humanity wasn't too far behind, but at least the fundamentalists were (barely) surviving. Like the dude in the parable of the three servants given some coins by their master: two of them invested well and returned far more than they were given, but the third hid it away and returned only what had been given, but nastier for having been buried away (if it was silver or bronze, yeah, corrosion). The other two were rewarded! The people in that wretched state scenario just had G!d turn His back on them, saying basically there was nothing worse that could be done to them they hadn't done to themselves already. X-P
(The "late" ones were more along the lines of a Star Trekian kind of future ["We could've found them anywhere they'd gone in the universe, sir..."]; took awhile for them to recognize Him, since organized neck-stepping religion wasn't so much a thing any more, but He was well pleased with how well they'd done, how compassionate, etc. they were, how well they'd matured as a sentient species. His "judgement" was that they, too, could continue on as they were, exploring, seeking, boldly going, etc.; desk-bound oldsters were free to go a-roving again... :D)
This, above all of your thoughts I’ve read, went straight to the Known Truth place in me. This idea that I can achieve (fill in the blank-riches, power, grace, whatever) through effort is just another ego trap.
Your piece reminded me of the quote from Persig about the peace at the center shining through in the outward appearance. And that mirrors my own experience…I never manifested anything but dissatisfaction and frustration until I quit trying. Then, viola!
So, one more time I learn it is desire that keeps me tethered.
Nancy, the mystics have always been bad at brand loyalty. Whether they wore crosses, malas, or prayer shawls, they kept stumbling into the same silence.
Excellent, VMB! Acute observations of the subtle, sneaky maneuvers of the ego seeking domination! Two sentences that really stand out to me: "Presence is rebellion at the root"; and "Compulsion dresses itself in silence." There is much to ponder deeply here! Thanks for this post. 🙏
WOW. Here you go again. Knocking my socks off. This scroll feels different to me this morning. I feel your power. The word Surrender has been with me for a few weeks now, along with my heart’s desire to Let Go. Mission? To let go of everything that no longer serves me. I’m dancing with curiosity and joy and playing the Gregorian chants in my head you offered elsewhere…breathing consciously…shorter in’s, longer out’s. I’m slowly letting go of stuff…which is an easy place to begin. For month’s after my Beloved’s passing over a year ago, I sought comfort in wearing his t-shirts, his sweats. Then I was ready to let go of his vestments, his stoles, keeping one particularly precious to me I bought as a gift, when we visited Lourdes many years ago. Then I let go of all his clothes wanting to gift them to those who had needs. Then came the desire to rearrange the furniture and the spaces in our home…beginning to let go of the routines and rituals we shared as a couple….and more recently I am sifting and sorting the books in his library…each one his personal friend…some I keep because there’s still more wisdom for me in them…they speak to me in ways I seem more able to hear now. I listen intently to my Guardian angel(s?) who are ever-present presenting me with miracles, answers to prayers I had not yet articulated. Manifestations? Do you mean like my wondering how I was going to by-pass my physical limitations of elder hood (aching back, wounds healing from recent abdominal surgery), to collect boxes, load them, carry to my car, donate to appropriate recipients. Asking for names of local librarians who might appreciate donated books…two who came through very circuitous routes, explored the stacks I’d made by subject matter, sharing how they each played a part of my husband’s curiosity about “the more,” “the unseen.” To seeing their eyes brighten with exuberance…to, “we’ll take them all! We’ll box and haul away…and any we don’t want, we’ll take to thrift stores.” They left yesterday with their car stuffed with box loads, only to bring more boxes and a return today to touch each book as if it was a bar of gold. So, yes, I am humbled by how the Divine noticed my human frailty, and sent two angels to free me of the weight of a seemingly impossible task. I wept when they left: my gratitude for the grace that is permeating my heart and soul in this moment is priceless and sacred. I am being affirmed in ways I can only label miracles to Let Go of bits and pieces of my life of 47 blessed years, so that I can open spaces for the next chapters of my life’s future mysteries to unfold, and reveal my next next steps, one day at a time. Presence? One of Bill’s best friends is a tiny book written by a monk centuries ago, “The Sacrament of the Moment.” (DeCassade?)
And, so, I am still pondering my visceral reaction to this scroll you have shared…I hear, I feel in you, from you, from your clarity, your words and phrases a power I can only recall feeling one other time. I was deep into a guided meditation, envisioning the young foal that was being born within me: coal-black she was wearing a blanket that was covered in every precious jewel, every color, one might imagine. In an instant, I felt a tall powerful figure standing behind me, carrying a sword: in a deep serious not-to-be-ignored voice, he said: “this work you are pursuing (with horses) is not frivolous.” My body responded viscerally, every cell had encountered his power. I sat stunned, humbled, with a knowing certitude, I had been gifted the presence of a very serious, no frills, being. So, now, later, I will reread your scroll: I’m curious to see if I can bring to my consciousness what you said that I want to know more about. Meanwhile, thank you, again, for being, and for being present and authentic in ways that are pure gift to this Anam Cara. ❤️🙏❤️😎🐶
P.S. someone told me much later as I was retelling my experience, that I had been graced by a visitation of the Archangel Michael. Since then, I have read and learned much about him. I speak his name only with awe, and reverence, and humility. He is one tough dude. ❤️🙏❤️
So good, right on the pulse of the egos sneaky compulsive need to dominate! Reminds me of cutting out sugar, you think you are doing good and wham, you forget to pay attention and discover it’s everywhere!
Once we taste Their Presence, nothing else satisfies! Blessings!
Some lights went on for me here. The concept of manifestation has puzzled me. Like everyone else my life has been full of challenges. And in the struggle it’s also been full of mystery and miracles. At times I have prayed and pleaded for the help I felt I needed. And sometimes those prayers have been answered but truthfully more often not. What I HAVE received countless times have been “everything I NEVER knew I wanted or needed”. Things I never requested at all. My interaction with the Love/God of my understanding has been relational . . . enjoyment? Dwelling in one another’s Presence just for love, I guess. I don’t so much “pray to” as “talk with” this Incredible Being I know as the Breath of my life and the Beat of my heart.
When challenges arise I’ve communicated my feelings, hopes and fears and confessed I just didn’t know what to think or do much less ask for. Jesus never said we wouldn’t have troubles in life. He said we would BUT that He/They would always be WITH us in those hard things. And that’s just what I’ve experienced - not necessarily getting what I wanted or demanded or felt I needed but ALWAYS there has been Love’s Presence. And if that is all there is it’s more than enough.
This said I’ve many times received just what I have needed - things I DIDN’T ask for. Most recently I was given some money from an unexpected place. And another time we found a much needed car that exceeded our greatest expectations for a price that equaled exactly what we could pay without going into debt. Again, things I couldn’t have imagined so never asked for. YET I’ve been told by friends I’m the most amazing “manifest-er” they know and have even been asked to help them manifest things they want. And I’ve been totally flamboozled by this suggestion. I don’t even know what they’re talking about. The idea of me “manifesting” anything is puzzling to say the least. I’ve pretty much just said “I don’t think it works that way”. 🤷♀️🤣 I don’t know where that idea originated but, no disrespect intended for other’s beliefs, I think it’s rather silly. How much they are missing but I don’t know how to explain. We seem to live in different realities. 🤷♀️ Reading this was a bit of a revelation because I didn’t realize it was a “thing” out there that everyone seems to know about. 🤣 Where have I been?
Finding it out for yourself on your own? I guess, deep down, that's what each of us /has/ to do; folks like Jesus and Buddha and Mohammad and all the other teachers can help be guides, but we gotta do the work of being open for things to manifest?
I like the fairly modern movie, "Bedazzled," a comedy where this poor desperate schmoe winds up selling his soul, ostensibly, to the Devil (= Elizabeth Hurley) for seven wishes. Needless to say, they all go a wee bit "whoopsie" because he didn't account for possible loopholes...and the Devil keeps at him to keep making wishes because she's on a schedule or something, but he finally stalks out of his workplace one morning, fed up with her, and dives into a cathedral, hoping to talk to God (hey, if the Devil exists...). The monsignor tries to help, but the frantic schmoe ultimately winds up getting arrested for disturbing the peace and thrown in jail (by a very familiar-looking female cop...). There, he meets someone the credits and IMDb just describe as his "cell mate": fairly ordinary looking guy (with a /great/ smile... :D) who tells him his soul really isn't his to "sell", no way, no how. How come?
"Doesn't really belong to you."
"Who does it belong to?"
"God. That universal spirit that animates and binds all things in existence. [...] In the end, you'll see clear to who and what you are and what you're here to do. Now, you're gonna make some mistakes along the way, everybody does. But if you just open up your heart and open up your mind, you'll get it."
"...who are you?"
"Just a friend, brother. Just a real good friend."
The conclusion I'd always come to about that movie was that the character had gotten /everything/ he'd asked for. :)
The part about manifestation being a disguise for the ego is so true. But the good thing is that it brought me to the path, and the failures I experienced there pushed me, kicking and screaming, into the fire of surrender.
Aaron, that’s the holy trick of it. The ego thinks it’s chasing treasure, but it ends up digging its own grave. Manifestation promises control. Failure delivers surrender.
And sometimes it takes that collapse to crack us open. To find out grace was waiting at the bottom of the ash pile the whole time.
Surrender as the way to presence. Your words are inspired. Thank you.
Spiritual discernment is key. You've articulated the subtle, corrosive nature of ego in spiritual guise with clarity.
Though true, it's sometimes very difficult to mentally accept the institutional decay
Thank you for this 🙏
The most dangerous carnal desire isn’t lust - grabbed my attention as i heaved a sigh of relief. Old guilt from adolescent lectures linger. Didn’t last long - the self of compulsion.
As a recovering alcoholic/drug & food addict/anorexic/smoker, I will never ever forget what compulsion feels like. It kicked my ass in so many ways for so many years & easily could again if i don’t walk the spiritual paths I’ve found & keep in touch with the Higher Power that relieved me of those compulsions. Then domination jumped in & i went hmmmm….
I’ve been wimpy my whole life unless I’m backed up against a wall. Or you’re gonna mess with my babies (dogs) (RIP). Never wanted to be a boss. Too much responsibility. Hated babysitting & being the bad guy (never had kids). The only thing i disliked about my precious job as a flight attendant was having to enforce FAA rules with passengers. Most of us don’t like being told what we can & cannot do. And i hated being the dominator aka bad guy or gal.
But i felt enuf of this in my bones reading it, so much of the compulsion part resonated, that I quit splitting hairs & kept rolling.
And then I realized I’d been trying to control my heath issues (& mostly failing) for the past 5 years.
I’ve been spiraling thru treatments over & over, not climbing a ladder.
And suddenly I was reading my own life story of the past few months
Time for mutiny - Presence shows up
Every collapse is an invitation to surrender.
That’s what happened my last procedure
Forced to rest instead of hustle
To let go instead of control
To stay vulnerable instead of armored
Throwing up the white flag
Time to surrender
And ask “how deeply am I here?”
I pray I’m ready to find out
Control is the last cigarette we hide in our sleeve. The hardest compulsion to quit because it dresses up like responsibility. Like virtue. But the collapse rips the costume right off and leaves us face-down with nothing but breath. Presence sneaks in through that crack.
Love it, especially the line "Presence says: lose and you will find."
My prayer has been that in G!d's presence, that my tongue be silent and my ego, useless. Oh for the peace of a useless ego.
Can I get a more precise definition of presence? What values or perspectives characterize it? Looking for more tangible attributes to help me better understood
It’s when the intellectual center (mind) stops racing and simply receives. The moving center (body) is grounded, not fidgeting or dissociating. The emotional center (heart) is open but not sentimental.
Unfortunately, it's one of those things that, like pornography, you know it when you "see" it. VMB did a great job of describing the state an individual can be in when Presence arrives...perhaps the most tangible attribute would be perfect love and an inability to experience fear? And that is can be in, not must be in.
"I don't know art, but I know what I like"? Akin to that? :)
This is an inspired message, period! It is a subject we all need to be aware of and to openly talk about. It is not something readily seen or acknowledged, but as you say, it is something often willfully hidden.
One thought though, concerning manifestation. Jesus told us to ask for things — NOT to demand or ask for status symbols with which to bowl others over.
It is OK to ask, but like in everything else, our hearts need to be right when we do.
Yes, Mary. Asking is not the same as grasping.
Jesus said “ask” not “perform.” Not “manifest a crown so your neighbor feels small.” Asking is an act of trust, not a trick to inflate status.
The difference is the heart you bring to it. Presence asks with open hands. Ego asks with clenched fists. One receives. The other consumes.
And is there a balance involved as well? I recall your description of Presence: "It is spacious. It roots. It does not consume." To this field biologist, that sounds like a tree! :D Trees do consume, yeah, but they also produce; things are in balance, and so can endure gracefully for centuries. :)
I’m wondering if dominance might be like a gateway vice of sorts to bigger and greater vices. The power leads to more opportunity for lust, greed, or aggression. It’s like expanding the house to welcome in more unsavory guests and then allowing them to bring their friends. Like dominance is fine on its own, but the party really gets going when you’ve got more room, more buddies, and loud music to distract from presence.
Sorry, I was speaking from the perspective of those who are ok with vice and actively living in vice. I agree that it’s not morally ok to be dominant and we should always treat each other as we would have others treat us, as well as care and respect the environment. 🙏🏼
That clarification makes sense. And you’re right. Dominance isn’t neutral. It pretends to be just one choice among many, but it reshapes the whole atmosphere.
When someone is “ok with vice,” dominance becomes the scaffolding that makes the rest possible. It’s not just another guest. It’s the architect who remodels the house so greed and lust have suites of their own.
Presence, by contrast, never builds that extension. It contracts the house back to its original frame. Small. Honest. Enough. Where care, respect, and reciprocity actually have a place to breathe.
Thank you. Yes. 🙏♥️
I think if Lust has any vileness to it, it's because of domination barging its way into that province. Desire is one thing, appreciation of beauty is one thing, even the urge to have young is one thing. But feeling the need to "OWN!!!" the other you ought to be joyfully sharing something delightfully physical with, that's nasty. :-/
"Lust" to "POSSESS!" anything, yeah, that's not good. Right up there with greed.
And once you gained the world, where would you put it?
I believe you are onto something here. But. I will never believe that dominance, on its own, can ever be OK. Supposedly, God said in Genesis (the Bible) that we were to dominate the earth and all that is in it. I have to wonder if it’s a mis-translation, because look at what we did to the earth. It seems we slowly are learning that our domination of all things, an example is the animals, is detrimental.
Mary, I’m with you. That old word “dominion” has done more damage than most people realize. If the translation had been “tend” or “care for,” the story of the world would look very different.
Domination bends everything toward use. Tending bends everything toward relationship. One strips the earth. The other keeps the garden alive.
If Genesis was meant as blessing, it was surely to be stewards, not steamrollers. And maybe now we are finally waking up to the difference.
That’s a good question Mary. I have been heartbroken over what we’ve done to the earth and all that was meant to bless us. Somehow I always “heard” when God gave us our assignment it WAS to care for, nurture and tend to the animals, all of nature and each other. I don’t know if it was the particular translation I had or just what my heart “heard”. I was shocked when I came in contact with people so focused on the second coming that they felt they could and should help “hasten” the “coming of the lord”. So much so they thought if they could raze the earth, use up all the resources, destroy the air etc, that his coming would be sooner - besides they’d say “it’s all gonna burn anyway!” 😳 WHAT???? My reply has always been “our FIRST assignment was to CARE for OUR Creator’s most important gift to us for our OWN sake as it was what would sustain us and give us life - incredible beauty and loving creatures to accompany us and all of it to feed our bodies (not necessarily using animals for that) AND our spirits/souls. It was our FIRST assignment and nowhere in the Bible can I find that it was EVER changed. I thought the concept of domination as in “I have the right to use up the earth and force God’s timing and hand in this second coming thing” was totally at humankind’s door and heartsickness rather than a misinterpretation of scripture. 🤷♀️ How did I miss this? I hate the word domination as it embraces the spirit of FORCE which religion has used to justify the disgusting mistreatment of others who needed to believe the correct things, or else!! Of course all that is based on other misconceptions of an angry god who must be appeased at all cost. The Presence and intimate relationship I’ve believed in, embraced and experienced is far, far away from any dominating Being who would force us to do it’s bidding and feel entitled to spiritually “rape” us at will. What planet have I been living on?🤦♀️ No wonder I’ve felt like a stranger in religious places. We don’t even agree on the original assignment in the first place I guess.
I’’m listening to Caroline Myss’ latest course, “The Guardians and Grace: Embracing the Sacred.” A phrase she uses keeps ringing in my head: “…making the shift from “Love of Power, to Power of Love.” The choice is always ours.
Even if it was "dominion," anyone who reads the rest of the Old Testament can see what G!d did to folks who /abused their Given dominions/ and did not take responsible care of them; the landscape back then must've been blackened with ex-dominions that'd been zotzed out of existence when G!d got fed up with the dominating rulers. :-/
G!d might not be quite so zotzy these days, but I once wrote a story where "the end" had come 'round for a few Earths (of varying universes/time streams) and were to be judged; some were a little late ("Gotta work on the schedules again...make a note, Uriel!" "Yes, sir."), and some were.../early/.
"Early. Before My time."
"...yes, sir..."
Basically, Earth was on its last legs and humanity wasn't too far behind, but at least the fundamentalists were (barely) surviving. Like the dude in the parable of the three servants given some coins by their master: two of them invested well and returned far more than they were given, but the third hid it away and returned only what had been given, but nastier for having been buried away (if it was silver or bronze, yeah, corrosion). The other two were rewarded! The people in that wretched state scenario just had G!d turn His back on them, saying basically there was nothing worse that could be done to them they hadn't done to themselves already. X-P
(The "late" ones were more along the lines of a Star Trekian kind of future ["We could've found them anywhere they'd gone in the universe, sir..."]; took awhile for them to recognize Him, since organized neck-stepping religion wasn't so much a thing any more, but He was well pleased with how well they'd done, how compassionate, etc. they were, how well they'd matured as a sentient species. His "judgement" was that they, too, could continue on as they were, exploring, seeking, boldly going, etc.; desk-bound oldsters were free to go a-roving again... :D)
Testimony, not theology! Oh, if only other 'theologians' could see that!!
This, above all of your thoughts I’ve read, went straight to the Known Truth place in me. This idea that I can achieve (fill in the blank-riches, power, grace, whatever) through effort is just another ego trap.
Your piece reminded me of the quote from Persig about the peace at the center shining through in the outward appearance. And that mirrors my own experience…I never manifested anything but dissatisfaction and frustration until I quit trying. Then, viola!
So, one more time I learn it is desire that keeps me tethered.
Jim, you got it. Desire keeps inventing ladders to climb while peace just waits at ground level. Nothing to manifest, just uncover.
That sounds Buddhist, too. Are all religions that mention Presence in many ways "drinking from the same well," then? :)
Nancy, the mystics have always been bad at brand loyalty. Whether they wore crosses, malas, or prayer shawls, they kept stumbling into the same silence.
One room. Many doors.
Excellent, VMB! Acute observations of the subtle, sneaky maneuvers of the ego seeking domination! Two sentences that really stand out to me: "Presence is rebellion at the root"; and "Compulsion dresses itself in silence." There is much to ponder deeply here! Thanks for this post. 🙏
WOW. Here you go again. Knocking my socks off. This scroll feels different to me this morning. I feel your power. The word Surrender has been with me for a few weeks now, along with my heart’s desire to Let Go. Mission? To let go of everything that no longer serves me. I’m dancing with curiosity and joy and playing the Gregorian chants in my head you offered elsewhere…breathing consciously…shorter in’s, longer out’s. I’m slowly letting go of stuff…which is an easy place to begin. For month’s after my Beloved’s passing over a year ago, I sought comfort in wearing his t-shirts, his sweats. Then I was ready to let go of his vestments, his stoles, keeping one particularly precious to me I bought as a gift, when we visited Lourdes many years ago. Then I let go of all his clothes wanting to gift them to those who had needs. Then came the desire to rearrange the furniture and the spaces in our home…beginning to let go of the routines and rituals we shared as a couple….and more recently I am sifting and sorting the books in his library…each one his personal friend…some I keep because there’s still more wisdom for me in them…they speak to me in ways I seem more able to hear now. I listen intently to my Guardian angel(s?) who are ever-present presenting me with miracles, answers to prayers I had not yet articulated. Manifestations? Do you mean like my wondering how I was going to by-pass my physical limitations of elder hood (aching back, wounds healing from recent abdominal surgery), to collect boxes, load them, carry to my car, donate to appropriate recipients. Asking for names of local librarians who might appreciate donated books…two who came through very circuitous routes, explored the stacks I’d made by subject matter, sharing how they each played a part of my husband’s curiosity about “the more,” “the unseen.” To seeing their eyes brighten with exuberance…to, “we’ll take them all! We’ll box and haul away…and any we don’t want, we’ll take to thrift stores.” They left yesterday with their car stuffed with box loads, only to bring more boxes and a return today to touch each book as if it was a bar of gold. So, yes, I am humbled by how the Divine noticed my human frailty, and sent two angels to free me of the weight of a seemingly impossible task. I wept when they left: my gratitude for the grace that is permeating my heart and soul in this moment is priceless and sacred. I am being affirmed in ways I can only label miracles to Let Go of bits and pieces of my life of 47 blessed years, so that I can open spaces for the next chapters of my life’s future mysteries to unfold, and reveal my next next steps, one day at a time. Presence? One of Bill’s best friends is a tiny book written by a monk centuries ago, “The Sacrament of the Moment.” (DeCassade?)
And, so, I am still pondering my visceral reaction to this scroll you have shared…I hear, I feel in you, from you, from your clarity, your words and phrases a power I can only recall feeling one other time. I was deep into a guided meditation, envisioning the young foal that was being born within me: coal-black she was wearing a blanket that was covered in every precious jewel, every color, one might imagine. In an instant, I felt a tall powerful figure standing behind me, carrying a sword: in a deep serious not-to-be-ignored voice, he said: “this work you are pursuing (with horses) is not frivolous.” My body responded viscerally, every cell had encountered his power. I sat stunned, humbled, with a knowing certitude, I had been gifted the presence of a very serious, no frills, being. So, now, later, I will reread your scroll: I’m curious to see if I can bring to my consciousness what you said that I want to know more about. Meanwhile, thank you, again, for being, and for being present and authentic in ways that are pure gift to this Anam Cara. ❤️🙏❤️😎🐶
P.S. someone told me much later as I was retelling my experience, that I had been graced by a visitation of the Archangel Michael. Since then, I have read and learned much about him. I speak his name only with awe, and reverence, and humility. He is one tough dude. ❤️🙏❤️
So good, right on the pulse of the egos sneaky compulsive need to dominate! Reminds me of cutting out sugar, you think you are doing good and wham, you forget to pay attention and discover it’s everywhere!
Once we taste Their Presence, nothing else satisfies! Blessings!
Some lights went on for me here. The concept of manifestation has puzzled me. Like everyone else my life has been full of challenges. And in the struggle it’s also been full of mystery and miracles. At times I have prayed and pleaded for the help I felt I needed. And sometimes those prayers have been answered but truthfully more often not. What I HAVE received countless times have been “everything I NEVER knew I wanted or needed”. Things I never requested at all. My interaction with the Love/God of my understanding has been relational . . . enjoyment? Dwelling in one another’s Presence just for love, I guess. I don’t so much “pray to” as “talk with” this Incredible Being I know as the Breath of my life and the Beat of my heart.
When challenges arise I’ve communicated my feelings, hopes and fears and confessed I just didn’t know what to think or do much less ask for. Jesus never said we wouldn’t have troubles in life. He said we would BUT that He/They would always be WITH us in those hard things. And that’s just what I’ve experienced - not necessarily getting what I wanted or demanded or felt I needed but ALWAYS there has been Love’s Presence. And if that is all there is it’s more than enough.
This said I’ve many times received just what I have needed - things I DIDN’T ask for. Most recently I was given some money from an unexpected place. And another time we found a much needed car that exceeded our greatest expectations for a price that equaled exactly what we could pay without going into debt. Again, things I couldn’t have imagined so never asked for. YET I’ve been told by friends I’m the most amazing “manifest-er” they know and have even been asked to help them manifest things they want. And I’ve been totally flamboozled by this suggestion. I don’t even know what they’re talking about. The idea of me “manifesting” anything is puzzling to say the least. I’ve pretty much just said “I don’t think it works that way”. 🤷♀️🤣 I don’t know where that idea originated but, no disrespect intended for other’s beliefs, I think it’s rather silly. How much they are missing but I don’t know how to explain. We seem to live in different realities. 🤷♀️ Reading this was a bit of a revelation because I didn’t realize it was a “thing” out there that everyone seems to know about. 🤣 Where have I been?
Finding it out for yourself on your own? I guess, deep down, that's what each of us /has/ to do; folks like Jesus and Buddha and Mohammad and all the other teachers can help be guides, but we gotta do the work of being open for things to manifest?
I like the fairly modern movie, "Bedazzled," a comedy where this poor desperate schmoe winds up selling his soul, ostensibly, to the Devil (= Elizabeth Hurley) for seven wishes. Needless to say, they all go a wee bit "whoopsie" because he didn't account for possible loopholes...and the Devil keeps at him to keep making wishes because she's on a schedule or something, but he finally stalks out of his workplace one morning, fed up with her, and dives into a cathedral, hoping to talk to God (hey, if the Devil exists...). The monsignor tries to help, but the frantic schmoe ultimately winds up getting arrested for disturbing the peace and thrown in jail (by a very familiar-looking female cop...). There, he meets someone the credits and IMDb just describe as his "cell mate": fairly ordinary looking guy (with a /great/ smile... :D) who tells him his soul really isn't his to "sell", no way, no how. How come?
"Doesn't really belong to you."
"Who does it belong to?"
"God. That universal spirit that animates and binds all things in existence. [...] In the end, you'll see clear to who and what you are and what you're here to do. Now, you're gonna make some mistakes along the way, everybody does. But if you just open up your heart and open up your mind, you'll get it."
"...who are you?"
"Just a friend, brother. Just a real good friend."
The conclusion I'd always come to about that movie was that the character had gotten /everything/ he'd asked for. :)